The night I wrote the things happening in my head

Can’t sleep.

I decided to just get up from bed and write things that I am currently thinking of. The first thought was about a serious talk between some of my friends at Kerygma Family. I usually attend the Kerygma Feast every Sunday and after the Feast members of the forum who meet and join the Feast eat in the Ortigas area. We were about 10 or something on that day but after lunch some left already due to some errands or appointments or commitments in the afternoon. I was left with Kaye, TJ, Lloyde, and Melhaira. After some strolling in the mall we decided to have coffee and I volunteered for the doughnut.

As usual discussions is about relationship and serious stuff for our age (we are mostly in our 20 something) and some of the complicated and intricate things about human relationships. Thoughts were thrown regarding when or how will one know if truly one says that a relationship is true or genuine and personal opinion regarding having relationship and the obstacles based on our personal experiences. On how we value a person and how we appreciate someone. I admire Melhai in her stories. She is younger than I am but she seems to be that person who has finally overcome the pain in life. She recounts how she was in the past being brat or spoiled until she learns how hard life is and found someone who loves her dearly and married her in spite of her condition. I miss her high pitch tone though it’s irritating. She just talks and talks(and we wonder if she is really sick with that lively mood she is always in) but when she remembers her life she talks seriously and starts to sound logical and give you a perspective of life that is kinda hard to believe. She cries silently while talking. Her tears just flow down her cheeks and then stops and try to put her self back by putting a smile. I miss her and I hope she recovers. We have been praying for her recovery.

We call him “bunso” and we are in awe to this young fellow. TJ is just 21(hope I’m right) and he is a professor in UP Los Banos teaching computer courses. I have never thought that this tech wiz kid knows much more of about religion than I do. He is analytical and he analyzes every arguments. He runs his blog and his topics runs from religion to everything. He has viewpoints you won’t imagine coming from an early age.

Kaye on the other hand is well my group age (hehehe) she is as old as I do and she is that kind of girl whom you can discuss things with. Sometimes serious and sometimes just I don’t know ;). I always picture her as the girl saying “anak ng tokwa” (son of tofu). At her age I know she has that self confidence to handle the pressures of life. Her doing a man’s job (she’s an architect) and taking up Masters kinda makes her different. One of the things we talked about on that day was being there for your family and one having your own family. She is not worried being alone at this age but what she pointed out was that at certain point we want to have someone to rest our tired and wearied life and just be comfortable with this someone. We talked about cars and how convenient it would be to have a van to accommodate a family to go there and here.

Lloyde was the regular guy….and Kaye would like to call him Manong due to you know….
He shared things that I can’t share here ;) but he has given me a perspective about his sharing….that sometimes things are just it and that no matter what we do it is what it is and no matter how much we wanted to untangle the complications of life it can’t be untangle. What we could do is to wait and see and hope that in the end all will be well…We have the power to chose but there are times in life that no matter how easy and great to choose one path we would rather grab the other……and live its miserable side effects……and the very reason is that it is already there and life is always been this complicated: it is the human nature to let it be. I always remember Lloyde with his gesture when the group part ways…he makes that nod with that funny look….man !!!

Right now I am wondering why I wrote these things. I hope I can meet this guys and the rest of the gang and have that talk we use to have….our topic ranges from the serious side of life to the complications and the funny side of it to the point of always not losing hope in God and that all can be made right and that He always provides us with what we truly need. I wish I can be there on a Sunday Feast in May….or maybe talk and hang out to the Makati group(that is what I saw in the forum that Makati based members see each other) on a Friday over a cup of my favorite cappuccino!!! I hope sis grace anne can be there for with us on that day: that she may have the time to fly from Cebu and just be there on a Friday over a coffee session. Talk about our fuzzy life and share and solve and discuss personal opinions.

Or maybe the overseas members like me are there on a Friday. Maybe Rowin in China, Allan and Kakay in Singapore, Bradz in New Zealand, Reina in Taiwan, Myonee in Dubai, and the rest of the guys in other parts of the world (what’s the name of that guy in the Scandinavia country?) to chat with the other guys there…it will be a grand EB all over again together with the newbies..

I am reminded of Tin who is soon working in NY, Tin C may kambal Julia, the sisteret Aya and Dianne, Mogy, the other guys like the Twins, Aileen, Ching( by the way how are you sis?), Rose, Au, Eric, Ms. July and her Eric, Stanzi, The Girl from Davao, Yumi ko, Cutieara, FTS, Bro Dacs the authority in Catholic dogma, the girl from Laguna(sis Reina what’s her name again?), and all of the guys and gals I have meet personally or through the magic of the web(like Glenda all the way from Middle east) and don’t forget our MJ sis Cha or charity or Jen….bf?(I don’t know why you and kaye cal each other bf)…

I think I have the wrong title for this one…..but nonetheless I need to sleep now because I have to do my Saturday ritual. I hope it doesn’t rain and that I can kick my self up so that I can add another block to may run-jog- walk habit. I think I need to gulp my milk to put me to sleep…its 11:30 now in Guam 9:30 in the Philippines and I don’t know for the rest of the world…Myonee I think its 4:30 in the afternoon there in your area and sis Reina its 9:30 there in Taiwan…because I just know because I know someone there ….

Really need that gulp….

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At what cost?

It was a funny experience. After eating dinner at Capricciosa we decided to look at the things sold in ABC store. ABC store is like the 7Eleven of Guam. You can see it almost everywhere. They sell most stuff for visiting tourist like souvenirs, clothes that tells about Guam, and many more.

As we were window showing I came across a shelf were carvings of the early settlers of Guam was show case. They are like the totem or lucky charms that we usually see in some souvenir shops in Baguio. What struck is the name written in the shelf about the carvings representation.

One was for Luck; the other was for Money, one for Strength (I am a bit bewildered why strength is represented by a woman like carving), Happiness, Peace, Longevity, and Love. Thoughts and ideas started to form in my mind. It has been a long time for me since I wrote my blog and a part of me starts kicking to write about this experience.

As I amuse myself about these carvings and while my mind is processing the ideas that came to my mind, I happen to look at the back of the carvings and saw the price for each 2-4 inch carvings: $5.00. Again my mind began to play and scoop out in me something. Then I finally have some concept. How we wish the representations of these carvings can be bought at $5.00.

For the so many longings that we experience I could have bought Love. For my daily dire needs I could have bought Money, for my troubled mind Peace, for the everyday boredom Happiness, and for the enjoying of my fleeting years Longevity. Why is it life is not like that? It could have been so comforting that all the things can be bought in a store (like the ABC store or maybe in a mall like SM). Probably it would be the best commodity to sell and anyone who will be in this business of selling these emotions will be rich in no time. If only Peace could be that affordable I could have bought one for the world.

Sometimes life is so funny that we work hard all our lives and yet end up to nothing. As Brad Pitt said in his movie Meet Joe Black there are only two things certain in this world….Death and Taxes. Tax time is near and I know everyone is all scampering to prepare there tax and doing there best to make their payable tax small. We wanted income and actually we badly needed it to defray our daily needs but on this time of the year we wanted that we never earn that much so that we wouldn’t hand our hard earned money to the Government. We see it as problem seeing that we earn that much.

At what cost are we willing to buy our internal needs? At what means do we do our best to reduce our tax payable? Life goes on and definitely death is certain and tax as well.

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A trip to Yap

I came to Yap yesterday, February 20, and it brought me back to my younger days spending time in the province. I told my companion that the place looks like a “barangay”. The place was quiet. Being just right in the middle of the Pacific with remote access makes it kind the backward place; away from civilization.

Yap is called the Stone Money state. It is part of Federated State of Micronesia. The stone money that they use is carved in Palau. It makes me think how the Yapese made to bring the stone money to Palau and back to Yap. Just seeing the size of the stone money will surely amaze you. I was asking some locals regarding why the Yapese has to use such heavy money and they have all the trouble bring the stone to Palau to carve it and then bring it back instead of using lighter and simpler things as money. Probably because the island has not that much metal thus they use stones. The local says that there is no direct explanation why their ancestors have to go to Palau in order to have that money carve. What they know is that the value of the stone is greater when the size is bigger and that the number of persons who passed away carving it. Probable the reason why Yapese has to go all through the trouble to have a value attached to their money basing it on the length of time and effort exerted just to make the stone money.

It is humbling experience to be in Yap. Life is not hassle. There is no rush. They are simple people with simple life. People here just wear simple clothing in their workplace. Most are in their slippers….even if they work for an office not like ours where we need to wear business suit or uniform. Vehicles are either left or right handed but mostly right handed because most are Japan surplus. With the soaring price of gas most are relying on the public bus for their transportation.

Most chew a nut mixed with lime and a particular leaf. If you don’t know their culture you might get shock because you might think there is blood in their mouth. This is their “cigarette”. Almost every adult has this particular chew weather male or female. Much like a cigarette they chew it on their breaks, after a meal, and some even while working. I have no offense against it since it’s their culture and practice. It is something which a visitor like me must respect.

They are a jolly and a hospitable people. Their island is separated from most access thus supply here is scarce. You might end up eating the same meal in any restaurant if the shipment from neighboring islands is not coming or broken. You can’t demand for a food which is not available so one must content itself to what the island can offer. Thus for me its humbling because living in Manila and right now in Guam where you can have the things you want just across any store and them living that kind of life in an island so peaceful and quiet makes one value things that we mostly complain in our own place. The principle “to appreciate what one has rather than to grumble on the wants that one has not” is truly the meaning of appreciation.

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A Woman's Embrace

What does a woman's embrace do to a man?

An action so powerful yet so devastating.

As a mother, a woman embrace her child to give her warmth and nourishment. The very essential things a young person needs to survive the harsh environment.

As a friend; a woman's embrace brings comfort to another female friend who broke up with her boyfriend, to a male friend it brings shield to the depression of being not accepted.As a friend, an embrace of joy of a victory and a embrace of empathy of a lost.

As lover, it gives pleasure to the senses. The soft body of a woman envelops a mans hard body;complementing human desires and urges. The supple body of a human arouses a man's inner desire that leads to what some call love or others call it passion.

To a husband it is a reassurance of trust. A support for a man's failure.

An embrace to a mistress; is a ticking time bomb. Time will tell and all will be revealed and all will be in chaos.It brings division;it brings separation.It leads to a broken family.Creates distrust and disarrayed children.

From a prostitute cause attachment. A man comes back for it because he cant find it at home. He's body longs for it....something different....something exciting...that leads to separation.

A woman's embrace is so powerful...thus all should value it. It could give comfort at the same time it could create division.

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Having a life

New Year’s Eve and the usual topic will around us making New Year’s resolution. How was the year that is about to leave and what we look forward to the year to come will the common talks in TV shows and the usual yearend report will be run by news channels. Both good and bad events are sited at the same time people that shook the year will be talk about. The significance of each item will be analyzed and will be made as focal point for the coming year.

Of course don’t forget the predictions. Chinese and western astrologers will be consulted. Scientist, political analyst, and economist will say their views on the coming year’s outlook if it will be a good weather, political scene will be peaceful or the economy will plunge down again or will rebound back.

What then is a life which is always based on the times that has passed? Yes the past is our way of looking into the future. We make it our reference point to what direction are we bound to. But is it our choice. How we live our life solely depends on our hands. It is what we want that what will happen. If so then the past years misfortunes, sickness, and depression was our choice. Sad to say those were our choice. There is no one to blame for the poor performance that we have than ourselves. And yet we complain and begin to look for someone to blame. And in the coming year we consult the astrologers and analyst so that we won’t blame ourselves when we fall short on our expectations. We put the blame on them.

Having a life is not putting the decision on someone’s opinion. It is rather an action we must take no matter how uncertain the times may be. If we don’t make a decision and not move to action then we will never move forward; we will always be in the same place we have always use to be.

To have a life then is to make a decision, an action. One must pull oneself and be brave to face what is to come….for tomorrow is always a surprise.

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POEA Day 3

I was able to be at the institution on time. Fall in line and proceeded to window 9. Presented my papers and went down for assessment, then was directed to go upstairs to pay the fee and all was done. Wow this was to done just in about two hours and yet I have to go all the trouble for three days just to secure a piece of paper that will allow me to get out of Philippines.

And so I went back to the processing area and ask if there are still things to be done and was told that all is done. Then I saw this girl. I know she’s familiar. I have seen her sometime in the Feast, a Catholic Charismatic gathering of the LOJ community, and I think she needs help. I was sure it was her but I am not quite sure if she will accept a help of a stranger like me. So after sometime I mustered all my strength and approach her and asked her if she is attending the Feast. And she said yes, thus I directed her on what to do in the process. It was a short conversation and I short instruction on how will she go through the process. Again I was smiling God really makes me smile. She is bound to New Jersey and will work as a physical therapist.

And then I went to Cubao, got myself lunch and went home to get my laptop. All afternoon what I did was to write and inform my cyber spiritual family that I will soon be leaving. But I assured them that it is not goodbye, rather its just see you later. Things aren’t permanent. I still don’t know what will happen next. God has a lot of surprises for me. What awaits me in Guam is something that I don’t know. All I have to do is have faith in the Lord that He will lead me to the place where He wants me. A place where I will expand my borders.

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POEA Day 2

Day 2 was for my schedule of PDOS or the Pre-Departure Orientation seminar. The seminar was mostly how we will interact with the foreigners we will meet in the foreign land. How we will conduct ourselves, our rights, and also on how we will adopt ourselves to the customs and practices of the foreign land we are bound to.

It was also the day for me to get my Physical examination which I have to rush. I have to repeat my urine exam because they said it has minor problems thus paying an additional fee for the repeat exam and paying half of the original fee to expedite the release of my records….

During the PDOS I was able to meet people. One is bound to mainland USA who has a flight to catch on the Friday, it was Tuesday then. He secured a work as a computer programmer in one of the computer company. Some are bound for Canada and mostly are bound to Europe particularly Italy. There was a woman who is returning to Italy and shared some of her experiences. There was one lady bound for Guam, who works in the field of Marketing. The spokesperson of the seminar made clear why we Filipinos are one of the sought after workers in the world…that is we have been sacrificing a lot for the love of our families thus we do the very best we can in our jobs abroad so that we can support our families that we left behind.

Then in the afternoon I rushed to the accredited clinic to get my physical exam result and was hoping that I am able to secure the document I needed from POEA. I was able to get it but by the time I fell in line for the processing one document needs notarization…and time was not at my side. Processing ends at 3:30 and the time was already 3:00. No choice but to go out and find any notary, by the time I came back it’s already 3:40 and my papers were not accepted already but was ask to go back tomorrow.

I just smiled at the person behind the counter and said “Thank you!” our Lord really knows how to make me smile. I am dead tired and my back aches a lot but I have to follow; I have to do what God really wants me to do.

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Life in Guam

I arrived in the island last December 3, a couple of weeks before Christmas, and I had mixed emotions the moment I set foot to this foreign land. “I will be working here” that is what I am trying to inculcate in my mind because I know when I begin to not think of it boredom and homesickness will creep into my system.

Yes I am a strong person and I think I can manage to live anywhere but this place is different. I encountered many obstacles so that I can move forward. I am used to with fast pace lifestyle and easy access systems like transportation and establishment open till 10:00 pm. Here I need a car to move around. From the simple things like going to buy drinking water or buying bread for the morning needs a car. Unfortunately I don’t drive back in the Philippines and that it takes a long time to secure a driver’s license. You need to go to schooling in order for you to be able to take the written test and wait for your actual driving test. Here shopping malls close at 5pm on Sundays and holidays. Unlike back in the Philippines, holidays are time to spent time until wee hours of the day. One thing more most establishments are part apart and are very few unlike back at home I can go to SM Mega mall and the three malls that surround it or I can ride the MRT and be at Ayala are or Cubao area, or at SM west area going to the new mall of the Ayala’s right next to the MRT station.

Another is that I have no friends yet here. I missed my friends back in Manila. Specially my KFAM family. I missed our Sunday get together in the Feast and the after the Feast activities that we do. I missed are talks about life and its wonderful and mysterious facets. I missed our exchanges of thoughts and arguments regarding what we stand for and what we believe. I missed our sharing and prayers and anything that we have, our friendship has grown that we have this thing been going on and on and we look forward to have projects. We had an outreach project for the orphans but unluckily I was not able to take part of it because on the night I will be flying to Guam. I know I will have contact with these friends of mine but the distance will be an obstacle. I also know that I can have friends here as well but with the different culture and traditions and social setting I know it won’t be the same as what I already have. I try to communicate with my friends back in the Philippines through email and I hope the ties we have won’t be broken by distance.

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Kerygma Conference: We have the power…extend our borders

The Kerygma Conference was held from Nov. 23-25 at the Ultra. It was a success!

With its power pact and life changing talks from Bo Sanchez and the various speakers, the delegates were empowered. It was an enriching experience.

Day one kick off with Fr. Orbos mass and with the initial talk by Bo and concerto of Nolyn Cabahug and Dulce. I was not supposed to be there. I was undecided whether to come or not to. But Rej told me to come with her words “saying bro pag di ka pumunta” Thus upon bidding farewell to my officemates, it coincided to my last day at the office; I rushed to Megamall to meet with Rej and Jhunanne. We went there and we enjoyed the evening. After the day one conference the other guys/members of the forum decide to have a little chit chat at Starbucks Megamall. We were joined by Cian of Davao, the reactivated member, and with Dianne aka Soul Angel.



Day 2: I was able to catch up in the afternoon and the talks were empowering.
Bro Alvin Barcelona spoke about us trusting God’s plan for us and asking God to show us His insights and ideas about our life. Often we are impatient and we wanted to things go our way but god’s will and plan will always prevail. He told us his story when he went to his province and a related asked him to visit a relative who is incarcerated in a far away penitentiary. The only means of transport was a tricycle and when it was there turn there was only one tricycle and according to his words “isang kalawang na lang magigiba na”. Then the tricycle was very slow that walking would be better and the road was rough. Due to his impatience he prayed over the tricycle so that it would speed up but it didn’t…until he complained to God that he is in a hurry…then suddenly out from nowhere a huge Toyota Fortuner nearly slams them. There he realize that God has a plan for him, that is his safety thus God didn’t speed up the tricycle.God has a top view and all we could see is our horizontal view. It is how we see each circumstance in our life. Do we see Gods plan in our life? Do we see opportunity in every situation?

Then Bro. Pio Espaniol talked about loving and sacrificing everyone’s family. No family is perfect in this world but we can make it a good one if we model it in God’s will and plans. We should put them second to God and we should always be there for them and we will be great in God’s eyes. He exhorted each husband to love there wife, each wife to serve and respond to their husband’s love, and every children to love their parents. Because a house is a place where there is no love of the family but a home is a place where love in the family dwells.

Then Bro Mike Joseph Jr. with his friends from Antipolo move everyone when they let the Holy Spirit move them and tell them that they may feel the hurts and pains of thus who are in the Conference and we all prayed for them. For their forgiveness, for their relief, and unloading of there heavy load in life’s struggles…

Then Bro. Obet talked about getting rid of our bad habits. He coined. He told us that God is a forgiving Gods that no matter who you are He forgives you…He loves us so much. He even sang a song that move every to their tears...

At night we have a great concert with Nyoy Volante, the KFAM 5, Christopher De Leon, The LOJ Music ministry, Fr. Joseph Skelton, Ruben Laurente and many more. It was a very inspiring and enjoyable night.

Day 3: It was started with a worship led by Fr. Joseph Skelton followed by Bro. Bo’s talk of freeing ourselves from being cage into thinking that we are just this small. He told each and everyone his seven principles that we are God’s champion and that we are equipped with all our needs and tools to be what God wants us to be. He told us to be not afraid of giants in our lives that kept us from extending our borders through an example with his two kids. Then it was followed by mass officiated by Fr. Joey Faller and Fr. Skelton and then the healing of those who are sick. It was a moving experience when Fr. Faller place his hands on the sick people in the wheelchair and they were able to stand, walk, see, and tremendous healing and the power of the Holy Spirit work on all those who are not only physically sick but also spiritually and emotionally sick. The members were move and all our tears fell in thanksgiving on God’s miracle. We extended our hands to bless all people and prayed over them for their healing. God works in wonder.


It was a very life changing event and each member of the forum that attended truly experience God’s moving grace. We are more bonded though we are of different backgrounds and beliefs. Truly were two or three are gathered in His name He is in our midst

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POEA Day 1

My last document needed before I can start my work at Guam will be coming from this institution. I never thought of it. I just got my US visa a week ago when it came to my mind that I still have to secure one more document, then I finally realize that its from this institution. So I called up my brother in law in Guam to hold the ticket ordering because it still uncertain how long will I secure such. And so it started this morning. My day was an agonizing day.

Got up early to be in the POEA vicinity and for sure long lines will greet me. After the government office flag ceremony and the usual program, making the processing of documents delayed, we went to the second floor for the processing. I was expecting to finish at least the seminar called Pre-Departure Seminar but it was a sad thing to know that we were scheduled the next day. Besides that I have to have a medical exam asap because of the long releasing date of the record from the medical clinic. Because of this I spent my whole day in the Ortigas area. First half at the POEA just to get an schedule and to be told that my contract has deficiencies and second half was the arduous and inefficient Biomedix.

I was pissed of really and I started to complain. But I remembered Bro. Alvin Barcelona’s talk….that we should look at God’s perspective because He has a top view of everything. Sometimes we are in a hurry and impatient or we want things to go our way as we have planned but sometimes it wont happen as expected. Maybe we are not seeing God’s plan because we are to focus on our plan thus we should pray for more wisdom so that we can grasp God’s plan for us. God’s plan are far better than ours;His plan for you and me is the best. Let go and ask God to lend you and show you His plans….and we obey and put our trust in Him because He will not let us fall into our pits.

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