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Friday, September 28, 2007


She was all alone for the past four years. The walls have been her constant companion. Saturday was her most important day. I see her on that day. Even though I’m just there for nearly two hours, she feels that I’ve been with her always. Those two hours are long for me, but for her it was the shortest time that she ever had. Though we see each other there is till distance between us. She sat on the other side and tells her story; I sat on the other side and smile on her stories. Sometimes I bring sandwiches for that special occasion and for her those sandwiches were the best that she’ll ever have. Life is so beautiful just to let it pass but for us ordinary people who are on the other side of the fence we ignore those time, moment or sequence, because we are ordinary. We never had the time to be with our friends who might be just there waiting for us.

My story above is not real but in my mind it’s so real. I never had someone whom I can call my best friend. Most of the people in my life are just my acquaintances. They just know me because they know my name, my face, but not my being. I exist in this world just to be in a particular time and place but not to be someone’s best friend. Maybe in the course of my life there were few friends who could have been my best friend. In my elementary years there were two candidates, in the seminary even though we are all brothers I think there was no one I can call my best friend, in college there were two, in my past job and present job I think there were two. The reasons we were not able to be best of friends is that we parted ways and that they have someone already that they call their best friend. No matter how hard I tried to win that place I won’t be able because that place is already filled in. I was always left alone. I was alone.

My best friend was accused of a crime she did not do, or may be accused of crime I think she did not do. This is how a friend is supposed to be, to be on the side of a friend against all odds. Though I said she is in prison already for years now in reality I just created her in my mind while riding in my officemate’s car home bound. She is all alone now in a white room and the only thing separating us is just the table. I don’t know what we were talking about, she just tells her story and I just listen. Is it that it must be like this when a friend is having a problem, someone must be there just to listen. And a friend is someone who would just spend a two hour time just to make a friend happy. So simple yet most of us don’t have time to do it.

I hope you don’t think that I am crazy and kept away from me, I hope you don’t come closer to because you pity me for not having a best friend and be sorry for me for the way that I feel. I just say things to cast a thought back to me to challenge myself. For this writing of mine I just want to know if I myself have been a good friend to my friends. I have friends. Though they are just a bunch I have someone to turn to just to talk about the crazy things that I get in to. I also wrote this to cast to you a question. Are you a true friend or just the usual acquaintance? Someone that just know my face or someone who knows my being.

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