Another visit to my friend

If you remember, years ago I wrote about my friend who was accused of something we believe she didn't do. Its been a whole year since then that I visited her and I am guilty about it.Click here to read about it.

It was a nice Saturday morning when I went to see her. As usual I brought some sandwiches and to calm her due to my not visiting I brought some cheesecake. She seated on the other side of the table and it seems I just seen her two days ago. She was never mad or angry at me. She smiles sweetly and it seems she knows something that I am not my usual self and so she says "Today its not me who's gonna tell stories, you are."

I guess she knows me very well. With a big sigh I began to tell her what really happened.

I have so many things to juggle. Work, personal life, and inner self. I told her about my recent work related problem. I was caught in the middle between my bosses. My manager told me to cancel some subscription to cut on cost but the other manager who would be affected by this cancellation lashed out to me. He even mentioned that he has a higher position and that he might ask the boss to fire my manager. Well my first re-action was of course enrage. One because I am just doing what my direct manager told me to do, second if that was the case why lashed out on me. If he has a problem with that he should have ask my manager and they should have argued about it. Why include me in the discussion when what I just did was follow instructions. Yeah bosses; sometimes they think they are so great and they showed be followed like gods. But don't they think that their words hurt other people. I hope that they think first before saying such. They should be humble enough and civil enough to talk things out before firing guns at someone else.My friend was just looking at me listening attentively. I stopped and stared at her at she just told me to go on.

Next one was personal. I have been working and working and it seems that my life is just like that. I'm turning 29 and still single. After a failed relationship of 3 years and a rejected love it seems that I am hanging up my gloves. But no I don't. And that's something that keeps me thinking. Sometimes I wonder what is in store for me. I may have the necessary things in life but sometimes you just cant escape the feeling of needing someone. Also it seems that things are so boring now. Sometimes I just want to let time pass faster. Some days the busy work keeps me company but sometimes that even the work is just like that. It came you did, its done and then what. For the past weeks its seems to get much of my sleeping time, making me awake because my mind is thinking of things as if I am a third person. Me, my mind, and time. This feeling made me lethargic and sometimes restless. As I was saying this to her she clasp my hands. Its so comforting to feel someone is there to be with you when you need them most.

Because of my personal problems my inner problems also surfaces. The demons inside my head started to play me again. I was able to shut this demon in me for quite sometime but due to the circumstances it resurface and starting to overtake my control of myself. My mind begin to wonder and start digging the hidden things in my subconscious. At night it creeps to me and starts to make me things. My mind creates the things that shouldn't be there and my body reacts to it. My friend smiles and told me that I do really need to get a wife. And She mentions St.Paul's First Letter tot he Corinthians. She told me to read 7: 25-38.

The bell rings and its time for me to go. As I was about to stand she tightly hod my hand. She looks at me and she whispered to my ears "Thank you!" Sometimes in life it seems that the most important thing that we have to do is to do our assigned task in life. But I was reminded that sometimes giving someone else a chance for them to do their task is also not bad. That visit made me realize that. I let friend be my friend in the time That I most needed one.

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Life in Guam

I arrived in the island last December 3, a couple of weeks before Christmas, and I had mixed emotions the moment I set foot to this foreign land. “I will be working here” that is what I am trying to inculcate in my mind because I know when I begin to not think of it boredom and homesickness will creep into my system.

Yes I am a strong person and I think I can manage to live anywhere but this place is different. I encountered many obstacles so that I can move forward. I am used to with fast pace lifestyle and easy access systems like transportation and establishment open till 10:00 pm. Here I need a car to move around. From the simple things like going to buy drinking water or buying bread for the morning needs a car. Unfortunately I don’t drive back in the Philippines and that it takes a long time to secure a driver’s license. You need to go to schooling in order for you to be able to take the written test and wait for your actual driving test. Here shopping malls close at 5pm on Sundays and holidays. Unlike back in the Philippines, holidays are time to spent time until wee hours of the day. One thing more most establishments are part apart and are very few unlike back at home I can go to SM Mega mall and the three malls that surround it or I can ride the MRT and be at Ayala are or Cubao area, or at SM west area going to the new mall of the Ayala’s right next to the MRT station.

Another is that I have no friends yet here. I missed my friends back in Manila. Specially my KFAM family. I missed our Sunday get together in the Feast and the after the Feast activities that we do. I missed are talks about life and its wonderful and mysterious facets. I missed our exchanges of thoughts and arguments regarding what we stand for and what we believe. I missed our sharing and prayers and anything that we have, our friendship has grown that we have this thing been going on and on and we look forward to have projects. We had an outreach project for the orphans but unluckily I was not able to take part of it because on the night I will be flying to Guam. I know I will have contact with these friends of mine but the distance will be an obstacle. I also know that I can have friends here as well but with the different culture and traditions and social setting I know it won’t be the same as what I already have. I try to communicate with my friends back in the Philippines through email and I hope the ties we have won’t be broken by distance.

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Relationships

How do you take care of your relationships? I mean not only the romantic relationship between a boy and a girl but relationship in general; friends, brothers, sisters, group, etc.

I have a friend who I cherish so much. She reminds me of my little sister that is why I always look at her as my little sister. I can talk to her everything under the sun. She also loves anime, my passion, and she is just so fun to be with for short talks from the ordinary events in our daily lives to the most intimate and serious matters of it.

Many people around us think that there is something between us that is why they always pair us. But I never look at her that way. Yes she’s pretty but I see her as someone to be a true great friend. We parted ways when she has to be in another place. At first we still communicated telling silly jokes and some quotes through text messaging. Due to our work and busy life we are not able to have time to talk just like we used to. I tried my best to catch up with her through phone in the morning before the work time rolls.

Time flies and we never heard from each other. I got busier and busier each day. I tried to text her sometime but I think she herself got busy with her job. Some chances came for us to talk over the phone but it seems we never have anything to talk about. It seems we never knew each other. That she is from a far away place that I can’t speak her language and that I can’t accept her culture. I do sent text messages sometimes but she never replies. Sometimes I think I send something awful or irritating.

I hope we have the time to talk again just like the old days. No holds bar for any topic under the sun. I miss her, my little sister friend. I hope my actions are not blocking her space. Maybe I am to much attach to her that is why she drives me away. Or maybe she has a different interpretation to my text messages or calls.

I miss her, I miss my friend.

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Doors(A night to remember)

First of all I will be violating my rules, to be exact two rules. First I violated my one word title format (I enclosed the supposed title in an open and close parenthesis) and second I will use mix language (that is English and Tagalog). Why do I do this you ask? Because this blog is for a special person. If ever she read this one out there, I hope she does, I hope she won’t be offended. Gusto kong magsulat ng medyo my komedy pero drama. To the special person I am speaking of hope she doesn’t mind my making her the center of my literary work(kung literary work ang tawag o klasipikasyon nyo sa blog format). Don’t worry my friend, our secrets are just ours(uyyy nakakainterestaing basahin tuloy kasi may secret kami hehehe). Promis at peksman Ate, secret lang natin un(ganito ang tinatawag na inciting to sedition as if you are attracting your readers to have interest in a story that they might not even understand(ang lalim at madami na kung naisulat wala namang sense o ma-say). Without futher ado I will be dispensing the story of a girl in my life.

She is an employee from an affiliate company. She was a hidden beauty(naks heavy words ate wag mo kung papatayin ha hehehe!). To put it short “ She’s a bomb” and muse of the office(sa kabilang opisina ewan ko lang dun sa isa ko pang Ate dun hehe). The first time I cast an eye to this lass was when they were incorporated to the company’s affairs(anong affairs kaya un(malay ko)).She was my office’s talk of the town. I never put so much interest on the matter because I was actually busy(uy malapit n ung monthend noon kaya busy na ko ere). But they eventually move in to the allotted space in our new office. When they move in it was an instant affair. Since being the “bunso” I was always teased to any gal wether it was a new young gal in the office or someone just new that might just pass by the office(wala lang trip lang nila ganyan kahirap kung ikaw ang bata sa office ikaw ang kanilang toy hehehe). I admit she was a head turner. Ate’s officemates joined in the teasing. But we, me and my ate, never bothered about it at first(pero sa totoo lang kinikilig ako joke!!!!!! Gusto ko lang magising ka sa pagbabasa alam ko kasing kanina ka pa nag-aantay nung secret hehehe ayos ba style ko dapat mag-comment na kayo sa style ko ng pagsusulat ala Bob Ong ba?At tsaka alam ko ung isa naming ate ang talagang kinikilig, you know who you are ate).I know she is distancing herself kasi alam nyang di sila titigil sa pangangantyaw. But gentle dog that I was I tried to create a win-win situation(dinadaan ko na lang sa patawa at alam kung magsasawa din sila).Hay naku bakit ba kasi dito ko start ang kwento boring na tuloy. Basta ganito sa office namin. Nagkaron na nga kami ng mga Ninong at mga abay, may ring bearer pa (sino kaya un?) ganyan kalupit sa aming office.Basta ganun un. (Any violet reaction?)

Sa taas ung comedy part of my story about this girl. Eto naman ang drama kasi sya daw ang Star Margarine(Ay sorry ate nadulas ang aking tongue).Since drama eto dapat ingles ok intyendi!

Amidst the joke and matchmaking, we were able to have time for seriously talk(we talk about the theme song of Teletubbies and wether Batman was washing his suit). She is a serious type of girl. I was a funny kind of guy but deep inside me I am serious(ei enough of me na this story is about you ate). Our friendship even got deeper since we are from the same province, we speak the same languages (that is English, Pilipino, Pangalatok or Pangasinan, and Katok). We smiled at each other when we meet and we talk about our childhood years. We talked about our lives and some of our common interest. I found out she’s not that too serious; it’s just that she is quiet and simple. As the time rolls on she gave her office a bomb. She resigned. She’ll be going to the land of Meteor Garden. I was also bewildered. She just moved in and I just got a new friend but she’ll eventually go away. Because of this the more we became closer. We became closer not as lovers (I know your anticipating it hehehe) but as a friend. She reminded me of my little sister friend(I think you know who she is already). I felt kind of hurt since I was starting to have a friend yet she’s going away. I don’t know why I felt that way. To think of it I am stone hearted. I am a Gemini born kid whose personality (if you believe in the Zodiac) is a kind of person who doesnt mind being alone and loves to go anywhere and do things alone. Alone but not a loner but this story is not about me, it’s about my Ate. Maybe I am at my what they call “Quarter life Crisis” I’m starting to be emotional already.

Maybe your wondering why I call her ate (which means elder sister in Pilipino). When I celebrated my 26th natal day she text me and she teased me that I was ahead again. In return I teased by calling her Ate and our unending war of telling whose old goes. It was funny. And I like it. I feel like I’m a kid again playing with my friend with unending teasing (I missed those years of my life). As the day comes near the more I teased her and so that she’ll not feel the fear of leaving. She says “ Ang kulit mo kuyahhhhhhhhhh!” and she laughs. We don’t only teased each other, we also talk about serious stuff in our lives(this time its about Superman). This is the secret part which I have no right to talk about it in this blog. Its her personal things so I leave it secret.

As I see her and analyzed her and her stories I knew she has a hard time trusting people around her. Thus the quiet personality that she has. But I was surprised because she opened her doors to a stranger like me whom she just personally met for nearly two months. I thanked her for the trust she gave to me, to consider me as her friend. Because of that the more that I became closer to her. It’s hard to find people who will entrust to you their whole being. But I found one in her, a true friend. I hope she also found one true friend in me too.

It was monthend then and as usual schedule is hectic. But her officemate(especially our ate) keeps on asking me if I could come to her despidida party courtesy of her direct bosses (special mention yehey!!!). I told them that I am not quite sure but I will try. And so I tried and it was a night to remember (Ayos ba timing ng words ko?) She barely spoke that night (alam ko medyo natetense na sya dahil bukas na flight nya). I tried all nick and naks to make her say something or smile or laugh. I warned her that she should put her toiletries in her language and not in her carry on bag. We spend time watching a live band and made all jokes and crazy antics to enjoy the night. Then we went home. She lives in the same direction as I was thus we were homebound to the same direction. We had those little serious chats about life and as a Big brother I gave her advice. We talked about things in our lives that we look forward to in life and we said our goodbyes and well wishes. I drop her off in Cubao and I went home around two in the morning. I was sad and I can’t contain the feeling of parting ways with a friend. There I realized that as we grow old we need people to be around us. I text my old friends at college and I thank them for considering me as a friend. I know they are astounded because it’s already in the wee hours of the night. Maybe I was touched by my Ate and her leaving cause sadness in my heart.

In the morning I barely got up. I am going to work that day because of the reporting that I have to do. As I sat at my bed I started to feel my eyes watery and in that instance I called my Ate. She didn’t answer the first call I made so I made another one. I didn’t sound good already when I was saying goodbye. For the first time in my life I was mushy. I looked funny. I just said goodbye twice I think then I cut the call. My ate thinks I got a cold due to my coarse voice. Then I text her saying that she’s making me cry. I told her I was sorry for making it difficult for her to leave. That day morning I will be washing my clothes, but when I got the chance to get up I called her. Don’t call me crazy I just kinda felt the feeling of missing someone. She said I am “Makulit” and she’ll miss it so much. I text her that I am not yet done teasing her so don’t be lax. I called her again and again because I know those waiting time are long. I ask her if she made sure that all things that I told her were done. I reminded her of the terminal fee. I asked her to keep in touch. She said she’ll put her number in roaming but it will be costly so she requested that I text once in a while so that she wont miss me (naks si ate talaga).

I was already in the Ayala MRT station when I called her the last time. In a minute she’ll be boarding her plane bound to Formosa. I heard the call to board and I told her that if ever she need me I am just a thousand miles away(hehe hehe) she can always text, email, or friendster me if ever she needs advice(pasensya na ate I can’t help you yet in financial matters, pareho lang tayong mahirap.) My cell load is all used up thus I text her to “ingat lagi and God never gives you a task that He knows you can’t handle”. She’s there now and I hope she’s doing well in adjusting there and doesn’t forget “big bunso’s chocolates” that’s me. I miss you ate hope this blog of mine would put a smile in your face. Your friends are just a thousand miles away (hehehehe wala tayong magagawa ate thousand miles away talaga), but we are always here specially me, your “malaking Mama friend.”

P.S. (meaning Pahabol Script)

1. I wrote this story in the wee of the night Ate hope you give comments to this one. You promise that you’ll make comments in my blogs. I will wait for those comments Ate hehehehe todo na to!!!!!

2. To all my other readers hope you like this one and you leave also your comments. Arigato guzaimasu!!!(tama po ba Nihonggo ko?)

3. Talagang hanggang dito itong kwento ko para di saying ang space hehehe!!

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