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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Family Fued

Philippines has been known for having great family ties that this tie not only run on immediate family but also up to distant relatives that one might not even know.
Together with this family ties are feuds between families due to inheritance, negative comments, gossip, and envy.

I believe the number one reason of families fighting is due to inheritance. Until now so many lands and properties are left undivided and are wasted instead of being utilize for greater use. One sibling accuses the other of cheating or being greedy. The problem is that parents have not executed wills that will divide all that they will leave behind when they pass away. From the siblings this issue will also be inherited by their children and thus bring the issue to the level of grandchildren and so n and so forth….time is wasted on so many arguments. My advice to parents is as early as possible draft your will. Don’t divide your riches according to your favorites rather divide it fairly. Each ought to receive the right portion according to their needs and capacities to make whatever they inherit last long so that it will benefit your great grandchildren.

When re-unions take place it is commonly practice for families to boast their wealth, their child’s achievement in school, promotion in work, and so forth. And then they will start to pin point bad things about each other. Telling this and that and suggesting that it could have been like this or that. Others start digging others past mistakes; telling that because of that the families name has been hurt or disgrace. After all this discussions the occasion which is supposed to be the unifying catalyst becomes the element that sours more the relationship between and among relatives.

As what it does, gossips also breaks down family ties. You will just one day hear from other people what a relative is spreading about you. You end up the laughing story of the town. As one story from the mouth of a relative, probably just a small comment or a funny event, turns into the talk of the town. Sometimes gossip is deliberately spread by your very own relative due to petty quarrels to issues that involves life and privacy just to get even. Sometimes even false accusations are fabricated to make others look bad in the community to gain peoples sentiment at the expense of others.

Envy is also a bond breaker. As one relative sees another get wealthier, the other starts compare themselves to the point of accusing others of doing something illegal. The problem with this is that people make this envy the fire in their hearts thus instead of themselves working hard to make their livelihood, work, or business more prosperous they put the blame on their relative becoming more richer. Sometimes they would even blame if some mishap or death to a family member that if their wealthy relative could have just help things would have been different. It is a crazy notion that people blame their poverty on someone else hard work when they themselves don’t even move an inch to do something to help themselves.

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