Dulag circa 2007

I went back home for the all saints day to Dulag, the place where I grew up.

As the tricycle I rode traverse the old asphalted two way road, I remember the days when these very roads were still the old road. The road back then was not asphalted thanks for the Cristo Rey celebration finally a politician and cashed out there fund to had the road asphalted so that our little barangay will be presentable to the visitors who will join the procession…and that there names will be remembered by the old folks during election time.

Yes election time. The barangay election has just been concluded and just like before corruption is still rampart. The only difference was that the bribes candidates hand out are higher today. Why is it that so many candidates will be ready to give money in order for the voters to cast there vote in their favor? Problem is the voting public themselves are the very reason why these candidates give money…as our utility man at the office says “ensuring there future”.

I usually bike around our barangay in the afternoon if I am on vacation. I always noticed the difference back then. Our old building school was no where to be found, most of the fields are now with erected houses, parts which were once spacious are now crowded, and most of the old people are still here but with there lives still below standard life. I think instead of improving our barangay has not change at all. The young people have become more liberated and undisciplined. As early as they can be they can already grab a bottle of beer and a stick of cigarette and stay in the side ways doing nothing. Most are unemployed; wasting there God given talents and some parents are still “consentidor” by not forcing there children with capacity to work go to work. They just look up to the sky, sigh and wait on God’s grace to come. Have they not known that God has already showered them with so many blessings? Unfortunately they have not yet realize it, and as long as they don’t realize it they are there rotting and losing all there potentials as time causes these God given talents to rust just like that.

It seems that the only possible way to uplift there lives is going to foreign lands. Just like may brother sings “Saudi Saudi yayaman din kami, Japan Japan sagot sa kahirapan.” I am myself bound to an overseas work offered by my brother-in-law in Guam. I was able to have a chance to work for multinational company who offers a better compensation than my current employment but my brother-in-law has long been offering this job because he badly needs someone to rely on. I accepted it because I know I can be of great help to him and at the same time it will be a learning experience for me besides the good compensation which won’t be offered by most companies in the Philippines.
We call this brain drain. Most of our talented countryman are now working abroad to have a better chances at life. Same with my simple barrio. Some of my elementary classmates are already working abroad. With the help of Friendster, I was able to know that they are already abroad. They are now away in foreign lands struggling to live and attain a better life than staying home for nothing.

Overall my barangay could still be a better place. Only if my barangay folks with truly seek change and betterment I think it has a change to be a better place. Only time can tell and I hope by the time I get back from my stint in Guam, Dulag will be a better place.

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Undas

Another day of the year; only one day for the dead.

I left the apartment around 7 am to catch the bus bound to Dulag.

People visit there beloved departed once a year on this very day, and the irony of it is that we could have done so when they were still alive. We could have hugged them or maybe we could have a hearty chat over puto or kakanin instead of placing it in a paper plate with a lighted candle.

Another irony of it why is it we just visit them today when we could have visited them weekly or monthly? When we buried them we were weeping all the way and sometimes even pass out.

On the contrary this event has its own good side. Relatives were able to have a reunion. We are able to meet our titos and titas, cousins, and old friends who happen to have someone buried in the same cemetery.

It also shows the level of stature every one has in the society. One can see it in the "nitso" of the dead and through the candles and flowers placed. Sad to say that such attention could have been given to them when they were still alive; it is only when we are dead that we enjoy a soft bed, a soft bed in a pricey coffin.

It is truly ironic to celebrate and remember our dead on this day when actually the church intended this day for those departed ones who have no one to cherished there life. One thing more November 1 is for the Saints and November 2 is the day for the dead but as early as October 31 we are already having Halloween parties. We have forgotten those people who have showed exemplary life as a Christian and yet we celebrate more the tikbalangs, aswangs and the underworld creatures of our folklores.

Though it has been a tradition, I hope each and every Filipino will not forget the essence of what we are celebrating. We must be happy because our love ones are already there and we must be ready for the time of our death is unknown as it is written in the Bible; it is like a thief in the night, no one knows when it will come.

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My little brother

 

Literally he is little. Our youngest sibling was believed to be "pinaglihi"to the Sto. Nino thus he has that small stature. When we stand side by side he would just be up to my waist. That’s my little bro, and I love him.

After his birth I remember that he suffered suffocation. Good our eldest brother was there to revive him. He gave him another shot in life. He was very white back then and as my sisters says “cute”. Some say he was a lucky charm in the family. If you would notice most of all my kinsmen or relatives are really tall. Most people in our place say that if they hear our surname surely they would picture a tall person.

He has this inferiority complex when he was young. But as time passes by he became dark skin due to his constant going out with his small bike. Sometimes we would find out that he join our cousins going to the beach with telling our parents. He was funny most of the time. He would always smile at person and he easily connects to people.

He is supposed to attend vocational school but he has not enrolled yet. Right now he is helping our mother in her feeds business in our small barrio. Because of this he came to be popular since he attends to all my mom’s customers. Even though he is small he can drag a sack of 50kg feeds. They call him manager. I remember back then when I was still a seminarian. People will call me "father" when I am back home. Even people I don’t know knew me. Even little kids knew me and they would call me “Father Louie” but today my fame has faded; it’s my little brothers era.

In case you see him don’t hesitate to call him. His name is George and surely he will reply with a sweet smile.

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Matrix v.02

I have written about the Matrix back then…lately I was able to watch the third installment and finally I was able to get the idea of the story.

The part I like the most was when Neo was trap in the train station in the Matrix. There he met Satte and her parents, the program that operates the generator and the creative program that keeps the beautiful things they see inside the Matrix. The discussion between Neo and the program that runs the power source was the one that really caught my attention. There one puts meaning to every word we say. Saying I love you is purely an action of blurting out the words. All we see are letters arranged to convey a message. But beyond that the meaning that we put depends on the relationship these words establish.

A relationship is established by giving attention and value to someone or something. A connection must be established. Thus a relationship is created in due time….not just in a snap of a finger. It is build through time. We as humans have a normal ability to interact thus it seems so easy for us to establish a connection but what if one day we wake up in a reality where we are actually under a Matrix. Our actions are limited by the programs that run the Matrix environment and probably will hinder us from establishing relationship. Just like an anti-virus program we might be quarantine and deleted to protect the system.

So how will we establish relationship in a world where there are programs to follow? Should we be ourselves and go all out or should we be choosy on to whom we should trust? Your happiness depends on your hand my friend, no matter how hard will be the consequences you must chose weather to establish a relationship or not. Just like the text message I got: The bravest thing to do? – To Love…

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Expressions of Shyness

I am shy
I am truly shy
I told you I am shy
Enough leave me a lone

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Friend

She was all alone for the past four years. The walls have been her constant companion. Saturday was her most important day. I see her on that day. Even though I’m just there for nearly two hours, she feels that I’ve been with her always. Those two hours are long for me, but for her it was the shortest time that she ever had. Though we see each other there is till distance between us. She sat on the other side and tells her story; I sat on the other side and smile on her stories. Sometimes I bring sandwiches for that special occasion and for her those sandwiches were the best that she’ll ever have. Life is so beautiful just to let it pass but for us ordinary people who are on the other side of the fence we ignore those time, moment or sequence, because we are ordinary. We never had the time to be with our friends who might be just there waiting for us.

My story above is not real but in my mind it’s so real. I never had someone whom I can call my best friend. Most of the people in my life are just my acquaintances. They just know me because they know my name, my face, but not my being. I exist in this world just to be in a particular time and place but not to be someone’s best friend. Maybe in the course of my life there were few friends who could have been my best friend. In my elementary years there were two candidates, in the seminary even though we are all brothers I think there was no one I can call my best friend, in college there were two, in my past job and present job I think there were two. The reasons we were not able to be best of friends is that we parted ways and that they have someone already that they call their best friend. No matter how hard I tried to win that place I won’t be able because that place is already filled in. I was always left alone. I was alone.

My best friend was accused of a crime she did not do, or may be accused of crime I think she did not do. This is how a friend is supposed to be, to be on the side of a friend against all odds. Though I said she is in prison already for years now in reality I just created her in my mind while riding in my officemate’s car home bound. She is all alone now in a white room and the only thing separating us is just the table. I don’t know what we were talking about, she just tells her story and I just listen. Is it that it must be like this when a friend is having a problem, someone must be there just to listen. And a friend is someone who would just spend a two hour time just to make a friend happy. So simple yet most of us don’t have time to do it.

I hope you don’t think that I am crazy and kept away from me, I hope you don’t come closer to because you pity me for not having a best friend and be sorry for me for the way that I feel. I just say things to cast a thought back to me to challenge myself. For this writing of mine I just want to know if I myself have been a good friend to my friends. I have friends. Though they are just a bunch I have someone to turn to just to talk about the crazy things that I get in to. I also wrote this to cast to you a question. Are you a true friend or just the usual acquaintance? Someone that just know my face or someone who knows my being.

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Touch

Touch 

We do it everyday. Each passing moment of our lives we touch our special someone. It comes in so many forms. A hug gives our love to that special someone. A pat or tap at one’s shoulder expressing our appreciation. A handshake to express acknowledgement of a person’s accomplishments. A kiss in the check to express our friendliness. A wink to express our inner expression. So many forms of touch, so many lives change by that simple act.

In my life many people have made a difference by way of a touch. My former classmates at the seminary always clasp each others arms or a tap at the back. It brings back the old days in the walls of our alma mater. Friends always make that particular wave at you and you already know what it means. It puts a smile in my face every time I reminisce those moments.


Why does such act put a good feeling in our skins, in our hearts and soul? Maybe it is that act that tells our bodies that we need not worry because someone is there who cares. They say that a new born child who has not completed the nine months it needs to fully form can be relieve in a simply massage, a simple touch that will tell the baby’s body to continue the process of building and construction of its essential parts.

Just like a potter, our lives are molded by the touch of every person that has gone through our life. And thus each hand that reaches us can either make us or destroy us. Our parents were the first human person that molded us into the person that we are. Then our siblings, our first friends in life. Come our friends in the neighborhood and school. Then our officemates and co-workers, our business partners. Then our special someone, our partner for life comes into our lives. Then we have our children and our grand children…..

In all the times of our life we always feel the touch of our Creator. From conception to our death, He has always been there. And because of that He has left an imprint in us to do the same, to touch each others lives. Making a difference in someone’s day. Bringing hope to a frustrated person, putting a smile in someone’s face, and uplifting someone bringing them closer to our Creator.

Touch one another. Make a difference in someone else life. Bring God to each and everyone.

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Education

Most young people of today forget the value of education. They won’t go to school if they don’t have the latest cellphone, good looking clothes, a hefty allowance, or they don’t feel going. They have so many reasons not to go. They would even prefer to go to internet shops and play playstation or network games.

I walked nearly three kilometers just to go to school in my elementary years. With that was a bag full of books and notebooks at my back and a plastic for other books that wouldn’t fit in my bag. I did that Monday to Friday. I was lucky when my brother or one of my Dad’s workers would drive or fetch me to school with our old tricycle. We never have a hefty “baon” and most of my notebooks were unused pages of my old notebooks sewn to make a notebook with a hundred pages. I never had a cellphone; they were not yet popular those days but comparing my old cellphone today with my niece’s, who is just in high school today, latest Nokia model, makes me envious. There was no internet back then. Our school have no formal library so all our knowledge are limited to the books our public school provided which the students have to take well care of.

My high school years were spent in the seminary. It was the Archdiocesan seminary. Most think that studying inside the seminary was a way of disciplining stubborn sons; they view the seminary as a reformatory school. I was not sent there to be reformed. I was sent there because my Dad believe that I a good head (they think I was intelligent, some kind of a special child just kidding).I liked my stay in the seminary. To tell you the truth I was exposed more inside the seminary than when I was outside. I browse over the books and encyclopedias of the seminary library, reading the classic novels, scanning all magazines regarding socio-political and economic culture. To put it in words I was liberalized. Most of my classmates are well to do. I was supposed to leave the seminary in my second year because of the high cost of studying in it. But my mother and siblings persisted and convinced my father not to pull me out.

It was graduation day at the seminary when I was told that tomorrow I will be taking an entrance exam in a business school in Manila. My brother convinced my father that I will be wasting my head(again they think I’m intelligent) if I studied at my province colleges. Together with my cousin, we took the exam not giving me any choice of school to study unlike today that most would like to study in a school were fashion and trends are the primary consideration. I passed the exam after inquiring the result after a week and the next thing I know I was already enrolled.

During my collegiate years, I was trained to live on my own. I spend my first year with my cousin who was accompanied by my tita. In my second year I moved to a boarding house nearer the school and move again to an apartment. I have no television then thus my only source of entertainment was the newspaper. From the old newspaper and magazine I made abstract art. One of my creations is still with me. It was a collage type (I think so) of art work where Jesus was the center (I got that image where Jesus was fit to a T).

Comparing myself to today’s students, I think they have really changed. Though financial struggle has always been the same problem, most of them have never gone to the trouble of being alone in college without anyone to turn to for guidance. And because of this they tend not to appreciate the hardships of their parents or siblings who are sending them to school. I hope the youth of this generation put value in education, do I sound like a politician (just kidding again)?

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Sunday People

Sunday afternoon, I was northbound Edsa. I just came from my group, the Sunday People, for our after the feast gathering. As the bus was gearing up to full speed; I realized something. I realized that my life, my journey, has gone to another trip.

I have known about the feast last year. It was the Sunday talk of Bro. Bo Sanchez. I came to know this guy way back in the seminary when I found a copy of Kerygma Magazine. Then in college I was again able to encounter one copy in the house where I was renting. In my first job, I was able to read his book “Thank God His Boss.” Then when I begun earning really my own money I started buying his books. My sister said I am a Bonatic. Last year after reading one his books I decided to donate giving freely. I subscribed to the websites, KerygmaFamily, and since then I have been donating until I joined the forum. But before being invited by my co-members in the forum by sis Jennifer Cueto, I got my invitation from HR personnel when I was applying in Coca-cola export. If I remember well her name is Beng. Last Sunday I saw her singing in the choir. I have been attending the feast for more than a month now. Hearing Bo speak was really inspiring. Though I was a former seminarian, I was not introduced to charismatic praise style, the one they call worship. Sis Jen cautioned me that I may get shocked because most of the attendees are women and it will be not the usual gathering that I know.

Then I met these people, the one that I call Sunday People. If Albom has Tuesday People in Tuesdays with Morrie, we have Sundays with Sunday People. What I have are these beautiful persons. We come from different backgrounds, lifestyle, beliefs, and quite a big age difference, just kidding, though most are young at heart. It’s amazing that the group I am with is even international. Some are from New Zealand, others from the US, from Singapore, China, and the Middle East. The wonder of the internet connected us all like a one big family. Here no one is a stranger. We listen and read each or anyone’s post regarding their personal problems ranging from the simplest to the most intricate. Here we believe in the power of prayer and in the power of the Almighty God. Opinions of different persons are heard. Comments and views are shared to give light to something that bothers anyone who in God’s miraculous guidance where brought to the site. We cried and rejoiced with each other. We shared our thoughts and understandings. We bonded.

We call it a miracle. We never knew each other personally and yet when we meet on Sunday as if we knew each other for along time. The alias in the computer screens are not just lines that comes up when a post is made. They bare real persons, real friends.

I smiled at the bus; I hope the girl across my seat didn’t notice because she might think Im crazy, while reminiscing the events of that day. As I said to one of the sisters who has poured out her hurts the night before “our intestines are already intertwined, we are already a family.”

Indeed we are already a family. Though of different house we go when we part, though we are of different age and background, each and everyone is a friend, a family, and an angel to each and everyone’s eyes. These are the Sunday People.

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Matrix

I love the Matrix movie trilogy but I was only able to watch the first two, the last I didn’t watch it anymore. With the stunning graphics and action sequence one will marvel at the great art made by the Wachoiski brothers. Of the two that I have watched, the second was the one that really made impression. The first presented me with a lot of questions while the second answered a lot of the questions. The third do I didn’t watch presented a possible team up between man and machine to fight a common foe.

But one thing made me thing. What if our present world we live in is actually a Matrix? We are all made part of a lie, that reality is not what we see but what is beyond the graphic programs that made our minds tick so that our bodies will fuel the machines need for electricity. Will you be dismayed that after all these years you are just living in a formula and the only person who can save us is Neo.

The favorite scene in the Matrix Reloaded was when Neo and The Architect met. All blurry things were cleared and finally Neo himself found a direction. That he was a flaw of the program The Architect made. The survival of men depends on the hand of a program virus. All truths were made clear to him, he realize that he himself was a creation of The Architect so that man will have a hope to continue struggling. He was the savior of the wretch world everyone was living.

If you were Neo would you save the world even though you knew you were just a part of it? Life has its mysteries and also its loop holes. One day we will stumble on them and it will make us think wether we are really living in a real world. Though it is the truth we should keep on struggling because change is in our hands, in our choice, our hopes, and in our hearts.

Choose to live in spite of a Matrix world we are living in.

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