Falling in Love again

Yes its the sweetest thing in the world. Getting engaged to someone you love. But before all that happens the two of you should fall in love again. I broke up with my first girlfriend about two years ago. It was hard. After being together for so long, about 3 years, I just said "its enough, I cant stand it". Relationship at first are good. You cant wait for the time that you can call or see her. Weekends for me are always a date with her. And as relationship progresses each of you begin to trust each other allowing things to happen between you. It happen to us and as normal couples we are always sweet. She clinging her hand around my hand and mine to hers. But it all faded because of so many factors. We begin to argue on important things until the time that even small things become big deal. She breaks with me and then calls me and me being so in love to her would just be there for her. But time will always come when a man has to throw the towel. After all the sacrifices and all the best I could do to save what we have I gave up. I begin to count the times she broke up to me and I begin to measure things if she truly love me she wont have done this and that....I begin to point out things that I never like....and as we all know thing begin to sour....she calling me to come back because she cant take the pain of me breaking up with her. I have to because I believe it is the best for us. If we keep on doing the things we do we might end up regretting in the future if we do get married.

That is why when I attended a wedding I formed a thought that people who get married are crazy. Two sided crazy perspective. One side of my thought says that people get married to a person who they think was and then in the end will realize it wasn't the person they wish for. After the super grand wedding and the super romantic reception and the sweet time of honeymoon they will end up sharing a bed. The man begins to snore every night and the woman begins to nag and tells her husband the things that happens in the office which the husband doesn't really care about. Then the morning quarrels begin and then the late not coming home husband thing will follow. Until the time that each of them would have wish that one will die soon and the butt of jokes will be that they will be a happy widow or widower.

Crazy because after spending sometime they begin to hate each other and yet they don't have a way to part ways because they are already married or if you live in a country were there is divorce, they can part ways but with some excess baggage like dividing properties, child custody and the like. Crazy people do get married.

On the other hand yes people who get married are crazy in a sense that it is self-sacrificing. Yes they get married because they both are head over heels to each other. They spend the honeymoon as if they don't care to the world as long as they are together. Love blossoms in the house. The man always kiss his wife when he goes out of their house and upon entering their house from work. Occasional and passionate love making, and the responsibilities of each in doing their share in household chores. But time will come that these sweet things in marriage won't be satisfied.

The husband starts to be late(sometimes we don't know why is he late again if its work or something else), the wife nags because she is envious of the neighbors who just bought a new car, and the usual stuff. But the crazy thing is that when each one starts to listen and lower oneself. Just letting the other say this and that just to make the marriage intact. Sometimes the wife knew already of his husband's so called "left turn" or the wife's constant belittling of her husband. Sometimes they are martyr. Just letting things go and if you ask them why they would just say "because I love him/her".

But there are truly crazy people who get married. And those are the ones who accepts the person for what he or she is and help there partner to be not the person that they wanted but rather to be the best person that he or she can be. A self sacrifice of caring and understanding. They say that true love is not when a person's heart starts to throb in a weird manner, it actually starts when one accepts the defects of the person whom they love and help her be the best person that they can be. Crazy because they chose to have the hardships of getting hurt rather than choosing to just be happy on their own merry ways.

As if you are falling in love again. You fall in love not because of the beauty and the handsomeness of the person. Not because of the sweetness and the romance, and the vigor the other can offer but rather you fall in love because you wanted to not because your body urges you.That is a different kind of craziness.

I begin to write this because I myself has begun to fall in love again but to the level of the one just I described. I knew this girl back in college and I noticed her already but just recently I just cant stop myself. It was a crazy thing to do to tell her what I feel specially now that we are miles apart. I know it would made her bewildered why I am doing such things. But thats how love works. It made my heart throb in a weird way that I just cant stop myself wanting to talk to her and tell her about it but when I am on the phone I just cant say it. So I told her that I will just tell it to her in an email to explain why I am acting weird.

I did. Yet I didn't get the answer i wanted but she didn't close the door for me. Love drives people crazy. And crazy that it may seems I think I am acting just like the crazy people I have just mentioned. In case my endeavors with this girl prospers I know you would remind me about my words because one day I will be crazy asking a girl or maybe this girl to be with me and get married.