Life in Guam

I arrived in the island last December 3, a couple of weeks before Christmas, and I had mixed emotions the moment I set foot to this foreign land. “I will be working here” that is what I am trying to inculcate in my mind because I know when I begin to not think of it boredom and homesickness will creep into my system.

Yes I am a strong person and I think I can manage to live anywhere but this place is different. I encountered many obstacles so that I can move forward. I am used to with fast pace lifestyle and easy access systems like transportation and establishment open till 10:00 pm. Here I need a car to move around. From the simple things like going to buy drinking water or buying bread for the morning needs a car. Unfortunately I don’t drive back in the Philippines and that it takes a long time to secure a driver’s license. You need to go to schooling in order for you to be able to take the written test and wait for your actual driving test. Here shopping malls close at 5pm on Sundays and holidays. Unlike back in the Philippines, holidays are time to spent time until wee hours of the day. One thing more most establishments are part apart and are very few unlike back at home I can go to SM Mega mall and the three malls that surround it or I can ride the MRT and be at Ayala are or Cubao area, or at SM west area going to the new mall of the Ayala’s right next to the MRT station.

Another is that I have no friends yet here. I missed my friends back in Manila. Specially my KFAM family. I missed our Sunday get together in the Feast and the after the Feast activities that we do. I missed are talks about life and its wonderful and mysterious facets. I missed our exchanges of thoughts and arguments regarding what we stand for and what we believe. I missed our sharing and prayers and anything that we have, our friendship has grown that we have this thing been going on and on and we look forward to have projects. We had an outreach project for the orphans but unluckily I was not able to take part of it because on the night I will be flying to Guam. I know I will have contact with these friends of mine but the distance will be an obstacle. I also know that I can have friends here as well but with the different culture and traditions and social setting I know it won’t be the same as what I already have. I try to communicate with my friends back in the Philippines through email and I hope the ties we have won’t be broken by distance.

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Kerygma Conference: We have the power…extend our borders

The Kerygma Conference was held from Nov. 23-25 at the Ultra. It was a success!

With its power pact and life changing talks from Bo Sanchez and the various speakers, the delegates were empowered. It was an enriching experience.

Day one kick off with Fr. Orbos mass and with the initial talk by Bo and concerto of Nolyn Cabahug and Dulce. I was not supposed to be there. I was undecided whether to come or not to. But Rej told me to come with her words “saying bro pag di ka pumunta” Thus upon bidding farewell to my officemates, it coincided to my last day at the office; I rushed to Megamall to meet with Rej and Jhunanne. We went there and we enjoyed the evening. After the day one conference the other guys/members of the forum decide to have a little chit chat at Starbucks Megamall. We were joined by Cian of Davao, the reactivated member, and with Dianne aka Soul Angel.



Day 2: I was able to catch up in the afternoon and the talks were empowering.
Bro Alvin Barcelona spoke about us trusting God’s plan for us and asking God to show us His insights and ideas about our life. Often we are impatient and we wanted to things go our way but god’s will and plan will always prevail. He told us his story when he went to his province and a related asked him to visit a relative who is incarcerated in a far away penitentiary. The only means of transport was a tricycle and when it was there turn there was only one tricycle and according to his words “isang kalawang na lang magigiba na”. Then the tricycle was very slow that walking would be better and the road was rough. Due to his impatience he prayed over the tricycle so that it would speed up but it didn’t…until he complained to God that he is in a hurry…then suddenly out from nowhere a huge Toyota Fortuner nearly slams them. There he realize that God has a plan for him, that is his safety thus God didn’t speed up the tricycle.God has a top view and all we could see is our horizontal view. It is how we see each circumstance in our life. Do we see Gods plan in our life? Do we see opportunity in every situation?

Then Bro. Pio Espaniol talked about loving and sacrificing everyone’s family. No family is perfect in this world but we can make it a good one if we model it in God’s will and plans. We should put them second to God and we should always be there for them and we will be great in God’s eyes. He exhorted each husband to love there wife, each wife to serve and respond to their husband’s love, and every children to love their parents. Because a house is a place where there is no love of the family but a home is a place where love in the family dwells.

Then Bro Mike Joseph Jr. with his friends from Antipolo move everyone when they let the Holy Spirit move them and tell them that they may feel the hurts and pains of thus who are in the Conference and we all prayed for them. For their forgiveness, for their relief, and unloading of there heavy load in life’s struggles…

Then Bro. Obet talked about getting rid of our bad habits. He coined. He told us that God is a forgiving Gods that no matter who you are He forgives you…He loves us so much. He even sang a song that move every to their tears...

At night we have a great concert with Nyoy Volante, the KFAM 5, Christopher De Leon, The LOJ Music ministry, Fr. Joseph Skelton, Ruben Laurente and many more. It was a very inspiring and enjoyable night.

Day 3: It was started with a worship led by Fr. Joseph Skelton followed by Bro. Bo’s talk of freeing ourselves from being cage into thinking that we are just this small. He told each and everyone his seven principles that we are God’s champion and that we are equipped with all our needs and tools to be what God wants us to be. He told us to be not afraid of giants in our lives that kept us from extending our borders through an example with his two kids. Then it was followed by mass officiated by Fr. Joey Faller and Fr. Skelton and then the healing of those who are sick. It was a moving experience when Fr. Faller place his hands on the sick people in the wheelchair and they were able to stand, walk, see, and tremendous healing and the power of the Holy Spirit work on all those who are not only physically sick but also spiritually and emotionally sick. The members were move and all our tears fell in thanksgiving on God’s miracle. We extended our hands to bless all people and prayed over them for their healing. God works in wonder.


It was a very life changing event and each member of the forum that attended truly experience God’s moving grace. We are more bonded though we are of different backgrounds and beliefs. Truly were two or three are gathered in His name He is in our midst

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POEA Day 1

My last document needed before I can start my work at Guam will be coming from this institution. I never thought of it. I just got my US visa a week ago when it came to my mind that I still have to secure one more document, then I finally realize that its from this institution. So I called up my brother in law in Guam to hold the ticket ordering because it still uncertain how long will I secure such. And so it started this morning. My day was an agonizing day.

Got up early to be in the POEA vicinity and for sure long lines will greet me. After the government office flag ceremony and the usual program, making the processing of documents delayed, we went to the second floor for the processing. I was expecting to finish at least the seminar called Pre-Departure Seminar but it was a sad thing to know that we were scheduled the next day. Besides that I have to have a medical exam asap because of the long releasing date of the record from the medical clinic. Because of this I spent my whole day in the Ortigas area. First half at the POEA just to get an schedule and to be told that my contract has deficiencies and second half was the arduous and inefficient Biomedix.

I was pissed of really and I started to complain. But I remembered Bro. Alvin Barcelona’s talk….that we should look at God’s perspective because He has a top view of everything. Sometimes we are in a hurry and impatient or we want things to go our way as we have planned but sometimes it wont happen as expected. Maybe we are not seeing God’s plan because we are to focus on our plan thus we should pray for more wisdom so that we can grasp God’s plan for us. God’s plan are far better than ours;His plan for you and me is the best. Let go and ask God to lend you and show you His plans….and we obey and put our trust in Him because He will not let us fall into our pits.

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Dulag circa 2007

I went back home for the all saints day to Dulag, the place where I grew up.

As the tricycle I rode traverse the old asphalted two way road, I remember the days when these very roads were still the old road. The road back then was not asphalted thanks for the Cristo Rey celebration finally a politician and cashed out there fund to had the road asphalted so that our little barangay will be presentable to the visitors who will join the procession…and that there names will be remembered by the old folks during election time.

Yes election time. The barangay election has just been concluded and just like before corruption is still rampart. The only difference was that the bribes candidates hand out are higher today. Why is it that so many candidates will be ready to give money in order for the voters to cast there vote in their favor? Problem is the voting public themselves are the very reason why these candidates give money…as our utility man at the office says “ensuring there future”.

I usually bike around our barangay in the afternoon if I am on vacation. I always noticed the difference back then. Our old building school was no where to be found, most of the fields are now with erected houses, parts which were once spacious are now crowded, and most of the old people are still here but with there lives still below standard life. I think instead of improving our barangay has not change at all. The young people have become more liberated and undisciplined. As early as they can be they can already grab a bottle of beer and a stick of cigarette and stay in the side ways doing nothing. Most are unemployed; wasting there God given talents and some parents are still “consentidor” by not forcing there children with capacity to work go to work. They just look up to the sky, sigh and wait on God’s grace to come. Have they not known that God has already showered them with so many blessings? Unfortunately they have not yet realize it, and as long as they don’t realize it they are there rotting and losing all there potentials as time causes these God given talents to rust just like that.

It seems that the only possible way to uplift there lives is going to foreign lands. Just like may brother sings “Saudi Saudi yayaman din kami, Japan Japan sagot sa kahirapan.” I am myself bound to an overseas work offered by my brother-in-law in Guam. I was able to have a chance to work for multinational company who offers a better compensation than my current employment but my brother-in-law has long been offering this job because he badly needs someone to rely on. I accepted it because I know I can be of great help to him and at the same time it will be a learning experience for me besides the good compensation which won’t be offered by most companies in the Philippines.
We call this brain drain. Most of our talented countryman are now working abroad to have a better chances at life. Same with my simple barrio. Some of my elementary classmates are already working abroad. With the help of Friendster, I was able to know that they are already abroad. They are now away in foreign lands struggling to live and attain a better life than staying home for nothing.

Overall my barangay could still be a better place. Only if my barangay folks with truly seek change and betterment I think it has a change to be a better place. Only time can tell and I hope by the time I get back from my stint in Guam, Dulag will be a better place.

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Undas

Another day of the year; only one day for the dead.

I left the apartment around 7 am to catch the bus bound to Dulag.

People visit there beloved departed once a year on this very day, and the irony of it is that we could have done so when they were still alive. We could have hugged them or maybe we could have a hearty chat over puto or kakanin instead of placing it in a paper plate with a lighted candle.

Another irony of it why is it we just visit them today when we could have visited them weekly or monthly? When we buried them we were weeping all the way and sometimes even pass out.

On the contrary this event has its own good side. Relatives were able to have a reunion. We are able to meet our titos and titas, cousins, and old friends who happen to have someone buried in the same cemetery.

It also shows the level of stature every one has in the society. One can see it in the "nitso" of the dead and through the candles and flowers placed. Sad to say that such attention could have been given to them when they were still alive; it is only when we are dead that we enjoy a soft bed, a soft bed in a pricey coffin.

It is truly ironic to celebrate and remember our dead on this day when actually the church intended this day for those departed ones who have no one to cherished there life. One thing more November 1 is for the Saints and November 2 is the day for the dead but as early as October 31 we are already having Halloween parties. We have forgotten those people who have showed exemplary life as a Christian and yet we celebrate more the tikbalangs, aswangs and the underworld creatures of our folklores.

Though it has been a tradition, I hope each and every Filipino will not forget the essence of what we are celebrating. We must be happy because our love ones are already there and we must be ready for the time of our death is unknown as it is written in the Bible; it is like a thief in the night, no one knows when it will come.

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My little brother

 

Literally he is little. Our youngest sibling was believed to be "pinaglihi"to the Sto. Nino thus he has that small stature. When we stand side by side he would just be up to my waist. That’s my little bro, and I love him.

After his birth I remember that he suffered suffocation. Good our eldest brother was there to revive him. He gave him another shot in life. He was very white back then and as my sisters says “cute”. Some say he was a lucky charm in the family. If you would notice most of all my kinsmen or relatives are really tall. Most people in our place say that if they hear our surname surely they would picture a tall person.

He has this inferiority complex when he was young. But as time passes by he became dark skin due to his constant going out with his small bike. Sometimes we would find out that he join our cousins going to the beach with telling our parents. He was funny most of the time. He would always smile at person and he easily connects to people.

He is supposed to attend vocational school but he has not enrolled yet. Right now he is helping our mother in her feeds business in our small barrio. Because of this he came to be popular since he attends to all my mom’s customers. Even though he is small he can drag a sack of 50kg feeds. They call him manager. I remember back then when I was still a seminarian. People will call me "father" when I am back home. Even people I don’t know knew me. Even little kids knew me and they would call me “Father Louie” but today my fame has faded; it’s my little brothers era.

In case you see him don’t hesitate to call him. His name is George and surely he will reply with a sweet smile.

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Matrix v.02

I have written about the Matrix back then…lately I was able to watch the third installment and finally I was able to get the idea of the story.

The part I like the most was when Neo was trap in the train station in the Matrix. There he met Satte and her parents, the program that operates the generator and the creative program that keeps the beautiful things they see inside the Matrix. The discussion between Neo and the program that runs the power source was the one that really caught my attention. There one puts meaning to every word we say. Saying I love you is purely an action of blurting out the words. All we see are letters arranged to convey a message. But beyond that the meaning that we put depends on the relationship these words establish.

A relationship is established by giving attention and value to someone or something. A connection must be established. Thus a relationship is created in due time….not just in a snap of a finger. It is build through time. We as humans have a normal ability to interact thus it seems so easy for us to establish a connection but what if one day we wake up in a reality where we are actually under a Matrix. Our actions are limited by the programs that run the Matrix environment and probably will hinder us from establishing relationship. Just like an anti-virus program we might be quarantine and deleted to protect the system.

So how will we establish relationship in a world where there are programs to follow? Should we be ourselves and go all out or should we be choosy on to whom we should trust? Your happiness depends on your hand my friend, no matter how hard will be the consequences you must chose weather to establish a relationship or not. Just like the text message I got: The bravest thing to do? – To Love…

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Expressions of Shyness

I am shy
I am truly shy
I told you I am shy
Enough leave me a lone

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Friend

She was all alone for the past four years. The walls have been her constant companion. Saturday was her most important day. I see her on that day. Even though I’m just there for nearly two hours, she feels that I’ve been with her always. Those two hours are long for me, but for her it was the shortest time that she ever had. Though we see each other there is till distance between us. She sat on the other side and tells her story; I sat on the other side and smile on her stories. Sometimes I bring sandwiches for that special occasion and for her those sandwiches were the best that she’ll ever have. Life is so beautiful just to let it pass but for us ordinary people who are on the other side of the fence we ignore those time, moment or sequence, because we are ordinary. We never had the time to be with our friends who might be just there waiting for us.

My story above is not real but in my mind it’s so real. I never had someone whom I can call my best friend. Most of the people in my life are just my acquaintances. They just know me because they know my name, my face, but not my being. I exist in this world just to be in a particular time and place but not to be someone’s best friend. Maybe in the course of my life there were few friends who could have been my best friend. In my elementary years there were two candidates, in the seminary even though we are all brothers I think there was no one I can call my best friend, in college there were two, in my past job and present job I think there were two. The reasons we were not able to be best of friends is that we parted ways and that they have someone already that they call their best friend. No matter how hard I tried to win that place I won’t be able because that place is already filled in. I was always left alone. I was alone.

My best friend was accused of a crime she did not do, or may be accused of crime I think she did not do. This is how a friend is supposed to be, to be on the side of a friend against all odds. Though I said she is in prison already for years now in reality I just created her in my mind while riding in my officemate’s car home bound. She is all alone now in a white room and the only thing separating us is just the table. I don’t know what we were talking about, she just tells her story and I just listen. Is it that it must be like this when a friend is having a problem, someone must be there just to listen. And a friend is someone who would just spend a two hour time just to make a friend happy. So simple yet most of us don’t have time to do it.

I hope you don’t think that I am crazy and kept away from me, I hope you don’t come closer to because you pity me for not having a best friend and be sorry for me for the way that I feel. I just say things to cast a thought back to me to challenge myself. For this writing of mine I just want to know if I myself have been a good friend to my friends. I have friends. Though they are just a bunch I have someone to turn to just to talk about the crazy things that I get in to. I also wrote this to cast to you a question. Are you a true friend or just the usual acquaintance? Someone that just know my face or someone who knows my being.

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Touch

Touch 

We do it everyday. Each passing moment of our lives we touch our special someone. It comes in so many forms. A hug gives our love to that special someone. A pat or tap at one’s shoulder expressing our appreciation. A handshake to express acknowledgement of a person’s accomplishments. A kiss in the check to express our friendliness. A wink to express our inner expression. So many forms of touch, so many lives change by that simple act.

In my life many people have made a difference by way of a touch. My former classmates at the seminary always clasp each others arms or a tap at the back. It brings back the old days in the walls of our alma mater. Friends always make that particular wave at you and you already know what it means. It puts a smile in my face every time I reminisce those moments.


Why does such act put a good feeling in our skins, in our hearts and soul? Maybe it is that act that tells our bodies that we need not worry because someone is there who cares. They say that a new born child who has not completed the nine months it needs to fully form can be relieve in a simply massage, a simple touch that will tell the baby’s body to continue the process of building and construction of its essential parts.

Just like a potter, our lives are molded by the touch of every person that has gone through our life. And thus each hand that reaches us can either make us or destroy us. Our parents were the first human person that molded us into the person that we are. Then our siblings, our first friends in life. Come our friends in the neighborhood and school. Then our officemates and co-workers, our business partners. Then our special someone, our partner for life comes into our lives. Then we have our children and our grand children…..

In all the times of our life we always feel the touch of our Creator. From conception to our death, He has always been there. And because of that He has left an imprint in us to do the same, to touch each others lives. Making a difference in someone’s day. Bringing hope to a frustrated person, putting a smile in someone’s face, and uplifting someone bringing them closer to our Creator.

Touch one another. Make a difference in someone else life. Bring God to each and everyone.

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