Touch

Touch 

We do it everyday. Each passing moment of our lives we touch our special someone. It comes in so many forms. A hug gives our love to that special someone. A pat or tap at one’s shoulder expressing our appreciation. A handshake to express acknowledgement of a person’s accomplishments. A kiss in the check to express our friendliness. A wink to express our inner expression. So many forms of touch, so many lives change by that simple act.

In my life many people have made a difference by way of a touch. My former classmates at the seminary always clasp each others arms or a tap at the back. It brings back the old days in the walls of our alma mater. Friends always make that particular wave at you and you already know what it means. It puts a smile in my face every time I reminisce those moments.


Why does such act put a good feeling in our skins, in our hearts and soul? Maybe it is that act that tells our bodies that we need not worry because someone is there who cares. They say that a new born child who has not completed the nine months it needs to fully form can be relieve in a simply massage, a simple touch that will tell the baby’s body to continue the process of building and construction of its essential parts.

Just like a potter, our lives are molded by the touch of every person that has gone through our life. And thus each hand that reaches us can either make us or destroy us. Our parents were the first human person that molded us into the person that we are. Then our siblings, our first friends in life. Come our friends in the neighborhood and school. Then our officemates and co-workers, our business partners. Then our special someone, our partner for life comes into our lives. Then we have our children and our grand children…..

In all the times of our life we always feel the touch of our Creator. From conception to our death, He has always been there. And because of that He has left an imprint in us to do the same, to touch each others lives. Making a difference in someone’s day. Bringing hope to a frustrated person, putting a smile in someone’s face, and uplifting someone bringing them closer to our Creator.

Touch one another. Make a difference in someone else life. Bring God to each and everyone.

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Education

Most young people of today forget the value of education. They won’t go to school if they don’t have the latest cellphone, good looking clothes, a hefty allowance, or they don’t feel going. They have so many reasons not to go. They would even prefer to go to internet shops and play playstation or network games.

I walked nearly three kilometers just to go to school in my elementary years. With that was a bag full of books and notebooks at my back and a plastic for other books that wouldn’t fit in my bag. I did that Monday to Friday. I was lucky when my brother or one of my Dad’s workers would drive or fetch me to school with our old tricycle. We never have a hefty “baon” and most of my notebooks were unused pages of my old notebooks sewn to make a notebook with a hundred pages. I never had a cellphone; they were not yet popular those days but comparing my old cellphone today with my niece’s, who is just in high school today, latest Nokia model, makes me envious. There was no internet back then. Our school have no formal library so all our knowledge are limited to the books our public school provided which the students have to take well care of.

My high school years were spent in the seminary. It was the Archdiocesan seminary. Most think that studying inside the seminary was a way of disciplining stubborn sons; they view the seminary as a reformatory school. I was not sent there to be reformed. I was sent there because my Dad believe that I a good head (they think I was intelligent, some kind of a special child just kidding).I liked my stay in the seminary. To tell you the truth I was exposed more inside the seminary than when I was outside. I browse over the books and encyclopedias of the seminary library, reading the classic novels, scanning all magazines regarding socio-political and economic culture. To put it in words I was liberalized. Most of my classmates are well to do. I was supposed to leave the seminary in my second year because of the high cost of studying in it. But my mother and siblings persisted and convinced my father not to pull me out.

It was graduation day at the seminary when I was told that tomorrow I will be taking an entrance exam in a business school in Manila. My brother convinced my father that I will be wasting my head(again they think I’m intelligent) if I studied at my province colleges. Together with my cousin, we took the exam not giving me any choice of school to study unlike today that most would like to study in a school were fashion and trends are the primary consideration. I passed the exam after inquiring the result after a week and the next thing I know I was already enrolled.

During my collegiate years, I was trained to live on my own. I spend my first year with my cousin who was accompanied by my tita. In my second year I moved to a boarding house nearer the school and move again to an apartment. I have no television then thus my only source of entertainment was the newspaper. From the old newspaper and magazine I made abstract art. One of my creations is still with me. It was a collage type (I think so) of art work where Jesus was the center (I got that image where Jesus was fit to a T).

Comparing myself to today’s students, I think they have really changed. Though financial struggle has always been the same problem, most of them have never gone to the trouble of being alone in college without anyone to turn to for guidance. And because of this they tend not to appreciate the hardships of their parents or siblings who are sending them to school. I hope the youth of this generation put value in education, do I sound like a politician (just kidding again)?

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Sunday People

Sunday afternoon, I was northbound Edsa. I just came from my group, the Sunday People, for our after the feast gathering. As the bus was gearing up to full speed; I realized something. I realized that my life, my journey, has gone to another trip.

I have known about the feast last year. It was the Sunday talk of Bro. Bo Sanchez. I came to know this guy way back in the seminary when I found a copy of Kerygma Magazine. Then in college I was again able to encounter one copy in the house where I was renting. In my first job, I was able to read his book “Thank God His Boss.” Then when I begun earning really my own money I started buying his books. My sister said I am a Bonatic. Last year after reading one his books I decided to donate giving freely. I subscribed to the websites, KerygmaFamily, and since then I have been donating until I joined the forum. But before being invited by my co-members in the forum by sis Jennifer Cueto, I got my invitation from HR personnel when I was applying in Coca-cola export. If I remember well her name is Beng. Last Sunday I saw her singing in the choir. I have been attending the feast for more than a month now. Hearing Bo speak was really inspiring. Though I was a former seminarian, I was not introduced to charismatic praise style, the one they call worship. Sis Jen cautioned me that I may get shocked because most of the attendees are women and it will be not the usual gathering that I know.

Then I met these people, the one that I call Sunday People. If Albom has Tuesday People in Tuesdays with Morrie, we have Sundays with Sunday People. What I have are these beautiful persons. We come from different backgrounds, lifestyle, beliefs, and quite a big age difference, just kidding, though most are young at heart. It’s amazing that the group I am with is even international. Some are from New Zealand, others from the US, from Singapore, China, and the Middle East. The wonder of the internet connected us all like a one big family. Here no one is a stranger. We listen and read each or anyone’s post regarding their personal problems ranging from the simplest to the most intricate. Here we believe in the power of prayer and in the power of the Almighty God. Opinions of different persons are heard. Comments and views are shared to give light to something that bothers anyone who in God’s miraculous guidance where brought to the site. We cried and rejoiced with each other. We shared our thoughts and understandings. We bonded.

We call it a miracle. We never knew each other personally and yet when we meet on Sunday as if we knew each other for along time. The alias in the computer screens are not just lines that comes up when a post is made. They bare real persons, real friends.

I smiled at the bus; I hope the girl across my seat didn’t notice because she might think Im crazy, while reminiscing the events of that day. As I said to one of the sisters who has poured out her hurts the night before “our intestines are already intertwined, we are already a family.”

Indeed we are already a family. Though of different house we go when we part, though we are of different age and background, each and everyone is a friend, a family, and an angel to each and everyone’s eyes. These are the Sunday People.

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Matrix

I love the Matrix movie trilogy but I was only able to watch the first two, the last I didn’t watch it anymore. With the stunning graphics and action sequence one will marvel at the great art made by the Wachoiski brothers. Of the two that I have watched, the second was the one that really made impression. The first presented me with a lot of questions while the second answered a lot of the questions. The third do I didn’t watch presented a possible team up between man and machine to fight a common foe.

But one thing made me thing. What if our present world we live in is actually a Matrix? We are all made part of a lie, that reality is not what we see but what is beyond the graphic programs that made our minds tick so that our bodies will fuel the machines need for electricity. Will you be dismayed that after all these years you are just living in a formula and the only person who can save us is Neo.

The favorite scene in the Matrix Reloaded was when Neo and The Architect met. All blurry things were cleared and finally Neo himself found a direction. That he was a flaw of the program The Architect made. The survival of men depends on the hand of a program virus. All truths were made clear to him, he realize that he himself was a creation of The Architect so that man will have a hope to continue struggling. He was the savior of the wretch world everyone was living.

If you were Neo would you save the world even though you knew you were just a part of it? Life has its mysteries and also its loop holes. One day we will stumble on them and it will make us think wether we are really living in a real world. Though it is the truth we should keep on struggling because change is in our hands, in our choice, our hopes, and in our hearts.

Choose to live in spite of a Matrix world we are living in.

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Depression

One day I woke up and all I feel was laziness.

I can’t even drag myself to go down stairs to take my breakfast. It was Monday. The day most detest, the day called the first workday of the week. After eating, I take the bath that I wish would last a lifetime. The flowing water over my head and to my body just soothes what I really feel inside.

Yesterday, I felt like my body is tortured by the medieval guillotines yet I never felt any single pain of that neck twisting thing. Or maybe I could compare it to the accidents that happen in the roads where a truck runs over into the public fx taxi I am riding and I get the most damaged, like broken bones, multiple lacerations, mangled veins, and blood all splashing all over yet even a single bit of it I cant feel.

Upon arriving at the office, I am greeted by my rotating chair and I imagine myself tied to it and thrown into the deep see yet I do not even struggle to breathe. I just wanna close my eyes and hope that I will feel anything just to feel it, feel the pain inside and let it out. Problem is no matter what I do it seems that it is not there, pain wont make me feel what should I be feeling, what should I be going through. I cannot even cry anymore all; I could do is stare at the white ceiling of my room during nights of no company of slumber.

There are times that I could have jump of the edge of the building and let my head hit the floor first, or maybe I could have slash my wrist and wait for the moment to just slip away like that. Nevertheless, I can’t do it, I just can’t. I wanted to end it all. All the pain that is in every part of my soul, my mind, my heart, and my body are there but I am just so numb to fell any.

Then I wake up again one day and realize that it is still Monday. And there it goes again the same cycle of internal pain that I cannot fell. The plans to just end it all but I cant do it, and the sleepless nights staring in the white ceiling.

Note: The article above is the definition of the writer regarding depression. How about you have you ever define depression in your own words? Maybe it would help if you can put to words how you see depression.

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Pity

There was a scene that I remember that has left a mark in my mind. I was in a mall in Cubao. I was standing near in front of an ATM machine and I noticed this old lady while making a withdrawal. At first attempt, it seems that there is problem in the machine so she decided to enter her ATM card and make a withdrawal. She tried it several time but no cash came out. Due to my curiosity I tried to peep on the screen of the ATM, the balance was only a very small amount. I think this old lady is in dire need of cash, maybe she is receiving it from someone overseas and hopes that she’ll get her cash today but to no avail no cash credit to her account yet.

I was taken aback. My mind started to think and it made me place my own mother in that same ATM machine trying to make the machine bring out cash. I do not know for what will that old lady would do with the money but the fact that she tried it several times shows that it is an urgent need. I was wondering if one day my mom needs money ang all she could relay on is her pension and her ATM. Reality do bite.

There are times that all we could do is glance at people and just shake our heads. There are so many people in the world that every day they hope that one day all there life would just change for better. That instead of grumbling stomachs in the morning they would be greeted by freshly cooked meal. The world seems to be unfair that some are bountiful while others are lacking.

The inequalities in life are sometimes to depressing to face. Soon time will come that you yourself that you will look at your self and get scared wether if you were in place of those person who all they do is hope that there ATM cards will have enough balance to make them live just one more day.

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Empty tin can

An empty tin can will make a rattling sound. When an empty tin can is pulled or rolled, it will certainly create a noise. Comparing an empty tin can with humans, a person who has so many problems causes that person to continually wail and make complains about how life has been harsh on him. Empty of what?

People have particular needs but above all what people need is love. A drug addict is into drugs because he or she thinks nobody loves him so he uses Mary Jane to make up for the emptiness of love that he feels. People who feel unwanted become insecure of themselves thus they spend money just to make themselves beautiful. They need attention. Everyday they think that the world is against them. They start pointing at people regarding their problem. They blame this and that but one thing they do not realize is that they are the problem. They just cannot accept the fact that they are the problem thus they made a scapegoat to take the blame.

So how will we make the tin can noiseless? Fill it with love. Try to fill your life with love. How? Open yourself to God’s blessing everyday. Yes, God sends sunshine both to the good and to evil. Why does God do such thing? Many don’t understand it. Many are still bewildered at it. Thus, people who thinks God is an unfair God. They start to be noisy like the empty tin can. They think God doesn’t love them. Problem is they never realize that God is a loving God that He even fills the emptiness of those that are bad. He does so because He believes that in the deepest corners of their hearts there is still “conscience” and “longingness” for Him who is the source of all love.

From opening yourself to God without comparing yourself to others move on the second part, that is acceptance. People may be open for things but it doesn’t guarantee that they are willing to accept it. They may receive it but deep down in their hearts they are rebelling. God doesn’t want us to suffer; He wants us to be free from suffering. Problem is we are to attach to what we have grown into. Just like a kid who wont exchange her toy pearls to a real pearl her dad wants to give to her. Lesson is we must be ready to surrender and trust that God wants us to have the blessings that He is giving us. Some people think that they are very sinful and thus they say that they don’t deserve God’s blessing. I disagree with you, as I said God made even the sunshine to shine on all people here on earth no matter how good or evil they are.

Be open and be ready to accept God’s blessing. Fill your emptiness with our Lord's Love don’t reject it, trust Him and submit to His guidance. He wont let you down because he loves you. You are far more important than the birds of the air, though this birds has no strong shelter to be in God protects them how much more you whom He created in His own image.

Be filled and be not an empty tin can.

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Independence

“I want to work so that I will be independent,” that was my sisters answer why she wanted to work and not instead take the CPA board exam. My parents kept on insisting that she take the exam first but she didn’t. Why is it that most young adults of today want to be independent?

Independence means you can do want you want and no one can dictate to you what they want, right or wrong? Maybe most of the young adults think this way. They think that there parents are like police who will always tell them that there doing something wrong. They don’t want to be overpowered by other’s will. So they show it when they can stand on there two feet thus working earlier in life instead of doing some things first before they experience the harsh life. A friend of mind reasoned out that she worked while in college to show her parents that she can stand on her two feet and they can give all there love to her older sister which brought problems in their lives. It seems that there is no space between her and her sister. She told me that they even quarreled about small things but as I see it the root of those quarrels is the fact that she didn’t get the attention that she needed. I don’t think she’s jealous of her sister, she is actually wanting of the parent’s attention. She has issues with her mother thus when I told her that she should open up with her mom she said that she did it once but they ended up arguing. Though the deprivation of that parental attention she has grown up to be an independent woman. She has her dreams to fulfill and she is on the way. Hope she still reconciles with her parents and sister and make a united family.

Independence for others commands respect. People will respect you if they see you walking tall amidst all possible problems. They see you as a role model. They were able to lead a life for every one to envy. But most will trace there independence back to there family. They will say that it was through there mom’s guidance in cooking that they learn to be independent. Or maybe it was there kuya that help them sort out things in life while they were young thus they were able to carry out the lessons they learn in the past and apply it to there present lives. Or maybe it was a serious chat with there dad over a drink that made them realize that being independent is a serious thing.

I remember back that independence is not the ability to do anything you want, as we say “this is a democratic country.” Rather it is the ability to coexist with everyone else and respecting each and everyone’s rights and boundaries’ in life. In this way we are actually independent by being dependent on each and everyone’s actions. You may want to do things but put in your mind that you are not violating others rights. Thus you still follow your parents but it doesn’t imply that you are not independent. Soon you will learn why parents are so persistent in telling you things to do; they don’t want you to commit the same mistakes they have done. I know you will say that they have a different experience but you can’t blame them, they just love you that is why they act silly sometimes. I am not telling you to follow without question anything they say. What I want you to do is to talk it out with them why you chose this action. It is in that way that we can measure one’s being independence.

Independence commands responsibility. Being responsible about one’s action will make you have a better perspective in life. Maybe sometimes you commit mistakes and those are essential. You must be able to pick up yourself every after your fall and learn from it, from there you gain values that will form part of your understanding of independence.

Life is always a bargaining action. You counter offer in order to get what you want in the terms and conditions which is agreeable to each and every party. I haven’t read yet the book but it is called creating a win – win situation (7 habits of highly effective people). This way everyone is at the same footing and all is satisfied. All can be talk out if all parties are willing to listen and also to speak. Your independence depends on how you will bargain for things in life. Be independent, be open minded.

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Moods

My sister has always been problematic about her hair. She has done so many treatments just to have that perfect fall thing. She says that when her hair is in bad shape she has this bad hair day. She is in this mood that she doesn’t like to go to work, she can’t work or she gets easily irritated because of her hair.

What really affects our mood? Do you wake every day being greeted by your mood and when it is not good your day is ruin? Maybe last night you quarreled with your girlfriend or wife, you got a “crap or bullshit” from your boss, or you where just too tired yesterday that you just would like to stay home and sleep all day to compensate for the bad day yesterday. You feel unproductive and grouchy. Maybe you would just like to go to mall and do window shopping or watch a movie. Maybe you would just like to eat ice cream till your heart’s content. One’s mood affects one’s productivity and disposition. A bad mood will ruin your day.

So there is one thing I would like to suggest. Instead of waking up in a bad mood why not choose to wake up in a good mood, the one that they call “in the mood.” Maybe if you start the day right you would be happier or healthier than your current state right now. You could choose to be happy so that you can finish your work earlier and be able to go back home on time to have that beauty sleep so that you wont have those eyebags. Instead of blaming the traffic when you are late why not beat the traffic, leave your house earlier. Try to understand traffic flow in the morning. Know the best time to leave the house so that you will arrive on time or earlier in the office. As they say if you can’t beat them join them.

It is your choice on how your waking affects your mood. You and only you can make that move to make your life better. Every day you should practice to choose to be happy. Always have that smile ready to great the world. If you smile at the world, the world will smile back at you. If you open your doors to accept everything God’s blessing will cone rushing in to you.

Got that bad hair day? Smile and it will be managed and it will look beautiful. Just imagine that your hair is beautiful. Let your imagination take your mood to the good side. Just like the local radio tag line, it’s all in the mind. It’s your choice to be happy; it is your move to be positive. So walk tall and show your smile.

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Maturity

How mature are you in dealing with things in your life? Being capable of self restraint in arguments may be a sign of maturity. Giving way to the other could also be a sign of maturity. They say mature people knew how to conduct themselves in every unlikely scene or occurrence.

Maturity signifies that a person has discipline. He or she knows when to do or not to do things. They say that when you are mature enough you would understand. This very line bewilders youngster just like me back then. We see other people smoking and drinking and they say you can’t do this because you are not yet mature. Some are watching pornographic movies if you peek in what they are watching they will shun you and say that you are not yet mature. Is maturity then a ticket to do adult things?

Age and experience cultivates maturity in a person. The experiences one acquires as one age makes the person more inform to pass judgment thus one formulates mature decisions. I do remember when I was still young that I can’t join the conversations of my older siblings or cousins because I was still young. Today as much as possible I try to get involve what is being talked about in the family and any gathering. Sometimes I post a question that sets their minds to thinking. I can see in their faces the “what if’s” and “because” faces. As people grew older they create a set of beliefs that for them makes them a mature person thus in the end we all say that every one has his or her own opinion. It is in an open forum where each and every single member is given a chance to listen and to speak what he thinks. From this scene we can see the true mature person, those that are ready to acknowledge their mistakes and those who are ready to listen to others opinion. They don’t react defensive and be in “save my skin mode”. They are those who have open minds and wide understanding. Their actions are carefully plan but not measured. They act according to what is a better option than that to act to be of advantage.

We fight a battle in our life. The outcome of this battle is still unclear but being able to accept defeat and rise up again and learn from one’s mistake makes one mature. Maturity then is about learning about life. One has reach maturity when one knows what to do best for a situation which poses a choice to do a wrong or a good thing.

In my life I did some stupid things. Many thought I am a very good person. I am not. No one in this earth is perfect. What differentiate a mature person from an immature person lies in the learning experience in a failure. As they say “Experience is the hardest teacher. She gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.”

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