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Saturday, July 14, 2007

Independence

“I want to work so that I will be independent,” that was my sisters answer why she wanted to work and not instead take the CPA board exam. My parents kept on insisting that she take the exam first but she didn’t. Why is it that most young adults of today want to be independent?

Independence means you can do want you want and no one can dictate to you what they want, right or wrong? Maybe most of the young adults think this way. They think that there parents are like police who will always tell them that there doing something wrong. They don’t want to be overpowered by other’s will. So they show it when they can stand on there two feet thus working earlier in life instead of doing some things first before they experience the harsh life. A friend of mind reasoned out that she worked while in college to show her parents that she can stand on her two feet and they can give all there love to her older sister which brought problems in their lives. It seems that there is no space between her and her sister. She told me that they even quarreled about small things but as I see it the root of those quarrels is the fact that she didn’t get the attention that she needed. I don’t think she’s jealous of her sister, she is actually wanting of the parent’s attention. She has issues with her mother thus when I told her that she should open up with her mom she said that she did it once but they ended up arguing. Though the deprivation of that parental attention she has grown up to be an independent woman. She has her dreams to fulfill and she is on the way. Hope she still reconciles with her parents and sister and make a united family.

Independence for others commands respect. People will respect you if they see you walking tall amidst all possible problems. They see you as a role model. They were able to lead a life for every one to envy. But most will trace there independence back to there family. They will say that it was through there mom’s guidance in cooking that they learn to be independent. Or maybe it was there kuya that help them sort out things in life while they were young thus they were able to carry out the lessons they learn in the past and apply it to there present lives. Or maybe it was a serious chat with there dad over a drink that made them realize that being independent is a serious thing.

I remember back that independence is not the ability to do anything you want, as we say “this is a democratic country.” Rather it is the ability to coexist with everyone else and respecting each and everyone’s rights and boundaries’ in life. In this way we are actually independent by being dependent on each and everyone’s actions. You may want to do things but put in your mind that you are not violating others rights. Thus you still follow your parents but it doesn’t imply that you are not independent. Soon you will learn why parents are so persistent in telling you things to do; they don’t want you to commit the same mistakes they have done. I know you will say that they have a different experience but you can’t blame them, they just love you that is why they act silly sometimes. I am not telling you to follow without question anything they say. What I want you to do is to talk it out with them why you chose this action. It is in that way that we can measure one’s being independence.

Independence commands responsibility. Being responsible about one’s action will make you have a better perspective in life. Maybe sometimes you commit mistakes and those are essential. You must be able to pick up yourself every after your fall and learn from it, from there you gain values that will form part of your understanding of independence.

Life is always a bargaining action. You counter offer in order to get what you want in the terms and conditions which is agreeable to each and every party. I haven’t read yet the book but it is called creating a win – win situation (7 habits of highly effective people). This way everyone is at the same footing and all is satisfied. All can be talk out if all parties are willing to listen and also to speak. Your independence depends on how you will bargain for things in life. Be independent, be open minded.

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