Matrix

I love the Matrix movie trilogy but I was only able to watch the first two, the last I didn’t watch it anymore. With the stunning graphics and action sequence one will marvel at the great art made by the Wachoiski brothers. Of the two that I have watched, the second was the one that really made impression. The first presented me with a lot of questions while the second answered a lot of the questions. The third do I didn’t watch presented a possible team up between man and machine to fight a common foe.

But one thing made me thing. What if our present world we live in is actually a Matrix? We are all made part of a lie, that reality is not what we see but what is beyond the graphic programs that made our minds tick so that our bodies will fuel the machines need for electricity. Will you be dismayed that after all these years you are just living in a formula and the only person who can save us is Neo.

The favorite scene in the Matrix Reloaded was when Neo and The Architect met. All blurry things were cleared and finally Neo himself found a direction. That he was a flaw of the program The Architect made. The survival of men depends on the hand of a program virus. All truths were made clear to him, he realize that he himself was a creation of The Architect so that man will have a hope to continue struggling. He was the savior of the wretch world everyone was living.

If you were Neo would you save the world even though you knew you were just a part of it? Life has its mysteries and also its loop holes. One day we will stumble on them and it will make us think wether we are really living in a real world. Though it is the truth we should keep on struggling because change is in our hands, in our choice, our hopes, and in our hearts.

Choose to live in spite of a Matrix world we are living in.

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Depression

One day I woke up and all I feel was laziness.

I can’t even drag myself to go down stairs to take my breakfast. It was Monday. The day most detest, the day called the first workday of the week. After eating, I take the bath that I wish would last a lifetime. The flowing water over my head and to my body just soothes what I really feel inside.

Yesterday, I felt like my body is tortured by the medieval guillotines yet I never felt any single pain of that neck twisting thing. Or maybe I could compare it to the accidents that happen in the roads where a truck runs over into the public fx taxi I am riding and I get the most damaged, like broken bones, multiple lacerations, mangled veins, and blood all splashing all over yet even a single bit of it I cant feel.

Upon arriving at the office, I am greeted by my rotating chair and I imagine myself tied to it and thrown into the deep see yet I do not even struggle to breathe. I just wanna close my eyes and hope that I will feel anything just to feel it, feel the pain inside and let it out. Problem is no matter what I do it seems that it is not there, pain wont make me feel what should I be feeling, what should I be going through. I cannot even cry anymore all; I could do is stare at the white ceiling of my room during nights of no company of slumber.

There are times that I could have jump of the edge of the building and let my head hit the floor first, or maybe I could have slash my wrist and wait for the moment to just slip away like that. Nevertheless, I can’t do it, I just can’t. I wanted to end it all. All the pain that is in every part of my soul, my mind, my heart, and my body are there but I am just so numb to fell any.

Then I wake up again one day and realize that it is still Monday. And there it goes again the same cycle of internal pain that I cannot fell. The plans to just end it all but I cant do it, and the sleepless nights staring in the white ceiling.

Note: The article above is the definition of the writer regarding depression. How about you have you ever define depression in your own words? Maybe it would help if you can put to words how you see depression.

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Pity

There was a scene that I remember that has left a mark in my mind. I was in a mall in Cubao. I was standing near in front of an ATM machine and I noticed this old lady while making a withdrawal. At first attempt, it seems that there is problem in the machine so she decided to enter her ATM card and make a withdrawal. She tried it several time but no cash came out. Due to my curiosity I tried to peep on the screen of the ATM, the balance was only a very small amount. I think this old lady is in dire need of cash, maybe she is receiving it from someone overseas and hopes that she’ll get her cash today but to no avail no cash credit to her account yet.

I was taken aback. My mind started to think and it made me place my own mother in that same ATM machine trying to make the machine bring out cash. I do not know for what will that old lady would do with the money but the fact that she tried it several times shows that it is an urgent need. I was wondering if one day my mom needs money ang all she could relay on is her pension and her ATM. Reality do bite.

There are times that all we could do is glance at people and just shake our heads. There are so many people in the world that every day they hope that one day all there life would just change for better. That instead of grumbling stomachs in the morning they would be greeted by freshly cooked meal. The world seems to be unfair that some are bountiful while others are lacking.

The inequalities in life are sometimes to depressing to face. Soon time will come that you yourself that you will look at your self and get scared wether if you were in place of those person who all they do is hope that there ATM cards will have enough balance to make them live just one more day.

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Empty tin can

An empty tin can will make a rattling sound. When an empty tin can is pulled or rolled, it will certainly create a noise. Comparing an empty tin can with humans, a person who has so many problems causes that person to continually wail and make complains about how life has been harsh on him. Empty of what?

People have particular needs but above all what people need is love. A drug addict is into drugs because he or she thinks nobody loves him so he uses Mary Jane to make up for the emptiness of love that he feels. People who feel unwanted become insecure of themselves thus they spend money just to make themselves beautiful. They need attention. Everyday they think that the world is against them. They start pointing at people regarding their problem. They blame this and that but one thing they do not realize is that they are the problem. They just cannot accept the fact that they are the problem thus they made a scapegoat to take the blame.

So how will we make the tin can noiseless? Fill it with love. Try to fill your life with love. How? Open yourself to God’s blessing everyday. Yes, God sends sunshine both to the good and to evil. Why does God do such thing? Many don’t understand it. Many are still bewildered at it. Thus, people who thinks God is an unfair God. They start to be noisy like the empty tin can. They think God doesn’t love them. Problem is they never realize that God is a loving God that He even fills the emptiness of those that are bad. He does so because He believes that in the deepest corners of their hearts there is still “conscience” and “longingness” for Him who is the source of all love.

From opening yourself to God without comparing yourself to others move on the second part, that is acceptance. People may be open for things but it doesn’t guarantee that they are willing to accept it. They may receive it but deep down in their hearts they are rebelling. God doesn’t want us to suffer; He wants us to be free from suffering. Problem is we are to attach to what we have grown into. Just like a kid who wont exchange her toy pearls to a real pearl her dad wants to give to her. Lesson is we must be ready to surrender and trust that God wants us to have the blessings that He is giving us. Some people think that they are very sinful and thus they say that they don’t deserve God’s blessing. I disagree with you, as I said God made even the sunshine to shine on all people here on earth no matter how good or evil they are.

Be open and be ready to accept God’s blessing. Fill your emptiness with our Lord's Love don’t reject it, trust Him and submit to His guidance. He wont let you down because he loves you. You are far more important than the birds of the air, though this birds has no strong shelter to be in God protects them how much more you whom He created in His own image.

Be filled and be not an empty tin can.

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Independence

“I want to work so that I will be independent,” that was my sisters answer why she wanted to work and not instead take the CPA board exam. My parents kept on insisting that she take the exam first but she didn’t. Why is it that most young adults of today want to be independent?

Independence means you can do want you want and no one can dictate to you what they want, right or wrong? Maybe most of the young adults think this way. They think that there parents are like police who will always tell them that there doing something wrong. They don’t want to be overpowered by other’s will. So they show it when they can stand on there two feet thus working earlier in life instead of doing some things first before they experience the harsh life. A friend of mind reasoned out that she worked while in college to show her parents that she can stand on her two feet and they can give all there love to her older sister which brought problems in their lives. It seems that there is no space between her and her sister. She told me that they even quarreled about small things but as I see it the root of those quarrels is the fact that she didn’t get the attention that she needed. I don’t think she’s jealous of her sister, she is actually wanting of the parent’s attention. She has issues with her mother thus when I told her that she should open up with her mom she said that she did it once but they ended up arguing. Though the deprivation of that parental attention she has grown up to be an independent woman. She has her dreams to fulfill and she is on the way. Hope she still reconciles with her parents and sister and make a united family.

Independence for others commands respect. People will respect you if they see you walking tall amidst all possible problems. They see you as a role model. They were able to lead a life for every one to envy. But most will trace there independence back to there family. They will say that it was through there mom’s guidance in cooking that they learn to be independent. Or maybe it was there kuya that help them sort out things in life while they were young thus they were able to carry out the lessons they learn in the past and apply it to there present lives. Or maybe it was a serious chat with there dad over a drink that made them realize that being independent is a serious thing.

I remember back that independence is not the ability to do anything you want, as we say “this is a democratic country.” Rather it is the ability to coexist with everyone else and respecting each and everyone’s rights and boundaries’ in life. In this way we are actually independent by being dependent on each and everyone’s actions. You may want to do things but put in your mind that you are not violating others rights. Thus you still follow your parents but it doesn’t imply that you are not independent. Soon you will learn why parents are so persistent in telling you things to do; they don’t want you to commit the same mistakes they have done. I know you will say that they have a different experience but you can’t blame them, they just love you that is why they act silly sometimes. I am not telling you to follow without question anything they say. What I want you to do is to talk it out with them why you chose this action. It is in that way that we can measure one’s being independence.

Independence commands responsibility. Being responsible about one’s action will make you have a better perspective in life. Maybe sometimes you commit mistakes and those are essential. You must be able to pick up yourself every after your fall and learn from it, from there you gain values that will form part of your understanding of independence.

Life is always a bargaining action. You counter offer in order to get what you want in the terms and conditions which is agreeable to each and every party. I haven’t read yet the book but it is called creating a win – win situation (7 habits of highly effective people). This way everyone is at the same footing and all is satisfied. All can be talk out if all parties are willing to listen and also to speak. Your independence depends on how you will bargain for things in life. Be independent, be open minded.

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Moods

My sister has always been problematic about her hair. She has done so many treatments just to have that perfect fall thing. She says that when her hair is in bad shape she has this bad hair day. She is in this mood that she doesn’t like to go to work, she can’t work or she gets easily irritated because of her hair.

What really affects our mood? Do you wake every day being greeted by your mood and when it is not good your day is ruin? Maybe last night you quarreled with your girlfriend or wife, you got a “crap or bullshit” from your boss, or you where just too tired yesterday that you just would like to stay home and sleep all day to compensate for the bad day yesterday. You feel unproductive and grouchy. Maybe you would just like to go to mall and do window shopping or watch a movie. Maybe you would just like to eat ice cream till your heart’s content. One’s mood affects one’s productivity and disposition. A bad mood will ruin your day.

So there is one thing I would like to suggest. Instead of waking up in a bad mood why not choose to wake up in a good mood, the one that they call “in the mood.” Maybe if you start the day right you would be happier or healthier than your current state right now. You could choose to be happy so that you can finish your work earlier and be able to go back home on time to have that beauty sleep so that you wont have those eyebags. Instead of blaming the traffic when you are late why not beat the traffic, leave your house earlier. Try to understand traffic flow in the morning. Know the best time to leave the house so that you will arrive on time or earlier in the office. As they say if you can’t beat them join them.

It is your choice on how your waking affects your mood. You and only you can make that move to make your life better. Every day you should practice to choose to be happy. Always have that smile ready to great the world. If you smile at the world, the world will smile back at you. If you open your doors to accept everything God’s blessing will cone rushing in to you.

Got that bad hair day? Smile and it will be managed and it will look beautiful. Just imagine that your hair is beautiful. Let your imagination take your mood to the good side. Just like the local radio tag line, it’s all in the mind. It’s your choice to be happy; it is your move to be positive. So walk tall and show your smile.

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Maturity

How mature are you in dealing with things in your life? Being capable of self restraint in arguments may be a sign of maturity. Giving way to the other could also be a sign of maturity. They say mature people knew how to conduct themselves in every unlikely scene or occurrence.

Maturity signifies that a person has discipline. He or she knows when to do or not to do things. They say that when you are mature enough you would understand. This very line bewilders youngster just like me back then. We see other people smoking and drinking and they say you can’t do this because you are not yet mature. Some are watching pornographic movies if you peek in what they are watching they will shun you and say that you are not yet mature. Is maturity then a ticket to do adult things?

Age and experience cultivates maturity in a person. The experiences one acquires as one age makes the person more inform to pass judgment thus one formulates mature decisions. I do remember when I was still young that I can’t join the conversations of my older siblings or cousins because I was still young. Today as much as possible I try to get involve what is being talked about in the family and any gathering. Sometimes I post a question that sets their minds to thinking. I can see in their faces the “what if’s” and “because” faces. As people grew older they create a set of beliefs that for them makes them a mature person thus in the end we all say that every one has his or her own opinion. It is in an open forum where each and every single member is given a chance to listen and to speak what he thinks. From this scene we can see the true mature person, those that are ready to acknowledge their mistakes and those who are ready to listen to others opinion. They don’t react defensive and be in “save my skin mode”. They are those who have open minds and wide understanding. Their actions are carefully plan but not measured. They act according to what is a better option than that to act to be of advantage.

We fight a battle in our life. The outcome of this battle is still unclear but being able to accept defeat and rise up again and learn from one’s mistake makes one mature. Maturity then is about learning about life. One has reach maturity when one knows what to do best for a situation which poses a choice to do a wrong or a good thing.

In my life I did some stupid things. Many thought I am a very good person. I am not. No one in this earth is perfect. What differentiate a mature person from an immature person lies in the learning experience in a failure. As they say “Experience is the hardest teacher. She gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.”

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Appreciation

I remember back then the sermon of a young deacon in one of the Misa de Gallo. His topic was about why we celebrate the coming of Jesus. The line that struck me most was when he said as I quote, “You cannot appreciate the beauty of the Christmas lights unless you experience darkness.” I think a classmate of mind in college mention this to me already. How will one appreciate things? On what standard does one base one’s appreciation?

We Pinoys have this maxim that we remark when one losses a chance, “Nasa huli ang pagsisisi.” Relating it in the quote above, it is when we lose the chance or thing that we appreciate its value. The two quotes quite work the same. Let me discuss first about the chance that was miss. What if you were presented with an offer to work abroad for a higher pay but in exchange for it you will be separated with your family for let say 5 years and you decided not to pursuit it, people will tell you that you let that chance pass and you might regret that decision after you start to have money problems. You will always look back and imagine what might have your life been if you have grab that chance. You might have probably sent your children in the top schools of the country, or you might have built your family a nice house. You tend to miss it and regret it telling yourself that the 5 years being away with them is part of the sacrifice to get a better life.

On the other hand let us discuss the other quote. Most people who nearly have everything are sometimes restless. They have set their standards so high that they don’t see appreciation in the simple things. I will present you comparisons. A kid who was born with a silver spoon would be thrilled if you buy them the latest toy car, what he or she likes is the hit toys just like that of his or her friends. Maybe it could be an Xbox 360, PSP2, or it might be even be Nokia’s N95. For a simple kid who has never had a toy in his life will appreciate if you buy him a toy truck you just bought at Divisoria or any mall at a sale price. I tell you he or she won’t lend it to any other kid because he puts importance in it.

The lack of or forbearance of a thing or moment creates in us the appreciation emotion. We put value to things that we miss or we never have. That is why it is good to have reunions. In a reunion we look back at the past and we appreciate those moments that we will not be able to put back. We appreciate the things that could have happen if we went the other way and experience those precious moments.

Appreciate every day that you have. God never wants you to suffer. Each and every moment in your life is God’s gift to you. It is up to you wether to appreciate it or not.

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Bosses

They are the honchos of the company. They are the lords of the workplace. You have a different treatment for them. They are the priority in certain company occasions. In case they needed or ask you something it is always urgent. You see them coming late, leaving early, most of the time going out for lunch, sometimes going out during office hours, and you make reasons to the callers why he cant be reach during office hours.

Who are they really? Most of them they are the owners of the company, some are the stockholders, others are friends of the owners, some are former employees of the owner or other bosses from their former company, and the most eye popping category, the COO, that is Child of the Owner. They are like the Roman conquerors and the Spanish colonizers. Every word they utter is a law to be followed. The things I enumerated above are the typical boss characters, I have only talked about the fifty percent of the story you might point out to me that I have a wrong observation.

Some bosses are actually good natured. They are not what we termed “Bossy” kind of boss. There are those who can sit beside you and talk about your family problems. Some even lends you their personal money in case you are in really dire need of cash during enrollment and sickness of your child times. There are those who share the same passion as you are thus you can talk just like pals and enthusiast. There are those who treat every employee as their family member thus you get gifts on your birthday, Christmas, or even volunteer as your child’s “Ninong” in baptism or in wedding.

They say that a good leader carries his subordinates. Applying this idea I therefore theorize that a good boss can be judge through his or her employees. If his very subordinates are well organized and works well there you have a good boss. A good leader can unite a group of disorganized people. He or she can break the differences between and among people and lead those in achieving the set goals the group is ought to do, doing things in an efficient and orderly manner. A leader therefore must have charisma and patience. He must be well verse since he or she will deal with different persons with diverse background. He must be impartial at all times weighing things first before passing judgment.

The very first boss everyone might have faced I think is our parents. So you can see your parents through yourself. I am not implying that your parents are to be blamed for the family’s shortcomings, remember they are just humans they are bound to commit mistakes. Through yourself you can assess on how you will make up for the other part lacking to complete the family. It is through them that you determine your part that you can contribute to make the family whole. It is a complementing thing in which what the other lacks the other fills in. Just like an efficient team in the workplace, a team is always built in the house once there are good bosses or parents.

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Family

“That is what family is.” My brother-in-law remarked while my other siblings and my niece and nephews where leaving for their respective homes. We just have some kind of family reunion and my sister’s thanksgiving for passing the US Pharmacy licensure. We all had a great time. Everyone was happy.

Maybe you already heard this definition of family, “Father and Mother I Love You.” How is your family? I don’t have the statistics but most of people I met today came from broken family. Many times I meet person with a family where each and every member understood each other. Most of the time, the father is not with the family because he has another woman or family. Or one of the siblings has rebelled against the parents. In some situation the children are not close to their mother or father who has work abroad for so long just to give the family a good living. Some those of my age are unwanted pregnancy back from college. Due to the inability to support or commit and the hatred of their respective families the parents of the unwanted child are always in constant war blaming each other and wish that they never met and at all.

To unite a family love is not enough to unite husband and wife. Many couples always put the blame to money but in reality money is not the problem at all. Besides the fading affection, the lost of respect is the common reason why families break up. Yes it is not enough for a man to feed his family and also it is not enough for a woman to be always ready to serve her husband and children. As I see it most people of today get married because of financial reason. Don’t get me wrong but I think most women do marry men who have something than to end up with someone who only has the promise of giving the stars and moon of the skies. Why you ask? It is security that matters most now a day.

Men on the other hand want someone who will serve them and fulfill all their needs. There were stories where a man separated with his wife due to her inability to conceive. I think it is even a ground for annulment. Men wanted to be treated like a king. He wants to dominate the house that is why there are so many men who resort to drinking and gambling when they feel that their wives are overtaking them. It hurt their ego to see that there queen has more powers in the house especially when the wife is the provider of the family. I had this one theory why many men are falling for prostitutes. Men who drink and sleep with prostitutes are those who cant find satisfaction with their wife because there wife don’t pay attention to them or that every time he comes home all he hears are his wife’s complaints and suspicion and constant comparison with their neighbor who just bought a new plasma tv and why cant her husband cant just even bring her to a fancy restaurant some time. He prefers the prostitute who hugs him and talks with him in the bar and who would fulfill his sexual desires than with his wife that only always talks and talks.

Next will be the children. Children these days are so demanding and spoiled. They won’t go to school if they don’t have this and that. They won’t study well unless you promise something in return. They stay up outside late when you tell them that they can’t stay up late as in “pasaway.” They do stupid things and you end up covering for their deeds to hide the shame and so many other things. I have another theory again on this. The children of today are the product of the parents holding back in the past. To think of it the youngsters of the past were always obeying their parents back then because they were afraid. They don’t want to be scolded or be renounce by their very family. The family’s name should not be brushed with shame or else they would lose their right in the family’s wealth. These feeling were hidden for so long that when they have their own children their children put those out right in there very face. I am not putting the blame to the grandparents, what I am pointing out here is that the children of the past didn’t know how to express their feelings thus those resentments were manifested to their children. The children of today on the other hand also don’t know how to express themselves because their very own parents are acting like their grandparents. They should know best on how to deal with it because they experienced it thus their children either goes to drugs, rebel, and end up with bad company because the parents never knew how to listen to them.

Now how can one then have a perfect family? But before you say something one word of caution, there is no such thing as perfect marriage and family. If you had a perfect family you are not here on earth you might probably in heaven. Problems will always exist. As I once said “life is like a chocnut, you’ll never know the surprises that come with it.” You don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or better yet what is happening right now. You also don’t know what your husband, wife, or children are thinking right now. So how will you know that? Communicate with them. It is through communication that one understands the other’s situation. But another caution, in a communication always removed those tags that you are wearing. What do I mean in that? When you talk there is no husband or wife, parents or children, you are always equal. Don’t say but, I tell you that most family can’t talk because they always assume authority. They have this childish thinking “you hurt me so you should be the one who is to say sorry.”
In a communication there should always be a dialogue not “daya at lugi” just what my formator always says back in the seminary.

Each and every part of the family must talk and not argue. Dialogue is a situation where each is given a chance to be heard and also a chance to listen. Often time’s people forget the listening part. They form quick judgment of their husband, wife, and children. The pointing fingers are always quick to blame. Most parents forget that they can learn much from their children if only they would listen. Wives also can learn from listening from their husbands and the other way around. To women what I advice you is to say what you fell and want and don’t linger around by saying things when you can just say it in one word. If you want your husband to kiss you tell him to kiss you and not making other situations and long script.

I am no family councilor. What I advice to each and every family is to form a council within the family. Each member of the family who has the capability can take turns to serve as the chairman to give each and every one a chance to say what he or she has to say and say the sentiments and regrets he or she has. Other members should just listen until one member is done that way avoiding others from jumping into conclusions and defending their turf.

Family is not just the happy parts, it also includes the parts were there will be pain, misunderstanding, and disunity. What is important is that in each of those times the family learns and becomes more united. Those tests should strengthen the family ore. Unity is inculcated by constant practice. Unity is also achieved by understanding the other’s situation and knowing when to give way for others. Respect and understanding are the key things in a united family and marriage just what my sister Liezl said. If you lose respect to your husband, parents or children, you will turn cold on them and as if they never existed every time they pass you. But what I also say is that you should always be positive that no matter how much respect is lost you always look forward to reconcile, to see the hope of reconciliation, and to be ready to accept ones fault. If once you closed your doors there is no turning back. Lines of communication and positive thinking or hoping will eventually make everyone understand. When a family is like this there is no problem that can’t be solve, everything is possible.

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