Love

It is all that matter some say. Others say it’s the thing that makes the world go round. It is the bond that binds us all.

What really is love? What I want to discuss is the romantic or somewhat romantic kind of love. I say somewhat romantic kind of love since sometimes friends are in this kind of love and yet they are not as we think about. Right now I am listening to Sitti’s version of “I didn’t know I was looking for love”. In order for me to fully discuss this topic I think I would best start it by describing the feeling when you fall in love.

When you are in love based on my experience and on the stories I heard, you are crazy.
You just can’t stay and do nothing to be near the person of your affection. You smile when your idle mind suddenly thinks of the person. My sister is lurking around right now that I am writing this topic and she says that I am inspired. I cast a dubious and questioning eye on her and she says I am guilty of being inspired. Maybe I am in love because one of the symptom of being in love is that you are defensive and kind the aggressive if somebody else sense it in you not because you don’t want to be teased but you want to keep a secret from your center of affection. I have rare moments of emotional state because most of the time my mind is preoccupied with work. You feel happy even in the midst of unhappy times. Thus you are like a drunken person.

Love brings out the emotions in you. As the song goes “I was coy but you make me candid”. People have inner selves that are not brought out because of the barrier one places to protect one’s emotion. Love removes that barrier because when one falls in love he or she feels protected by the counterpart person. You tend to open up your very self to the object of your attention that is why when the relationship comes to the dreaded part of parting ways it is always a war. The other will accuse the other of things that are not true and the other will defend himself or herself by counter attacking. As I quote most text messages I received from friends “it is when you are hurt that you have truly loved.”

I already heard of some breakup stories. Some breakup or cool off mostly because of a third party. Others would reason because they have lost the affection towards their significant other. Some would say cultural and emotional difference, status and background difference, and age difference. Some is that they are so use up with the same routine in their relationship; while others because they are taken for granted.

I have also heard of surviving relationship after such breakups. They say that their relationship has surpassed the test of fire and that no matter what other hardship they will face they will remain strong. They can’t stand it when they are separated. Others say that if you are meant for each other you both end in the altar no matter what happens.

Others have sacrificial love. They let go to make their beloved happy in the arms of the other’s love. They are willing to have a miserable life for the sake of that beloved. Others will fight for their love against all odds. They would risk everything just for the love that they both cherish. Most movies have this kind of formula.

What if you already fell out of love and yet your guy or gal you left hold on and never let go. I heard this kind of relationship which they call open relationship. In this type you are open to be with someone else as long as you don’t commit yourself with that one because you have a relationship (I hope I got it right). This kind I think is not good. Both are in the losing end because if chances are that the other finds another the other will still hold on. It might not be good for the new one thus causing conflicts between the three of you.

Is it the feeling of being pampered or surrounded with outmost care that one loves to be loved? Is it the being the envy of others because you have a princess or a knight in shining armor which everybody would wish for? Is it the feeling of security in the strong arms of the man or the soft caring hands of your woman? The feeling of being in cloud nine or the feeling of being the luckiest person makes you go crazy with love.

But love is not just the feeling. I once heard a priest’s homily about love. According to him as I remember love is a choice. Choosing to be with someone in spite of the many differences and in spite of all the objection of the relationship and yet you stay in it. Each and every one of us has free will to chose who we want to love romantically. Our choices might give us the feeling that we want or lead us licking our own wounds, hurt and devastated. Up to what extend will you love if you know that there is a possibility that it won’t be the thing that you want?

So how will one love? I suggest love freely and truly. You can choose. So don’t be in a hurry to be with someone but at the same time don’t play with other people’s heart. Give your full love to the person in a way that won’t bar your judgment. Most people are blinded by love thus they suffocate their love one thus she or he will ask for space. Knowing a person in ordinary ways is not enough. You should know him or her in the most extraordinary moments. In this extraordinary situation their true identity comes out. Love to live. It is not just your choice but the choice of the other person.